Health & Well Being
Freedom & Fulfillment
Passion & Purpose
Shifting from Chaos to Clarity
Maura Joy Lustig is a Transformational Mindset Coach & believes that each one of us has a special gift within us that deserves to shine. She feels that when we discover that gift and realize what’s truly possible for us, we have the ability to create our best life. Using her signature 7 step process, “Convert Chaos to Clarity” she supports women in transforming into their own extraordinary essence. Maura works with women ages 40 to 65 who may be experiencing a crisis in their health, relationships or in their career. They may be struggling with overwhelm, feeling shut down or powerless, and are ready to break free and live the life they love. Maura helps them to rekindle their desires, gain confidence, and clarity and take a powerful stand for their life. They celebrate their uniqueness, discover their joy and embody their passion for living.
Moira's Website: http://moirasutton.com/
Create the Life you Love Community:
Welcome to Episode 15. Shifting from Chaos to Clarity with our special guest transformational coach and artist Maura Joy Lustig. Maura is a transformational mindset coach and she believes that each one of us has a special gift within us that deserves to shine. She feels that when we discover this gift, and realize what's truly possible for us, we have the ability to create our best life. using her signature seven step process Convert Chaos to Clarity, she supports women in transforming into their extraordinary essence. Maura works with women between the ages of 40 and 65, who may be experiencing a crisis in their health, a relationship problem or in their career. They may be struggling with overwhelm, feeling shut down or powerless and they're ready to break free and live the life they truly love. Maura helps them to rekindle their desires, gain confidence and clarity and take a powerful stand for their life. They celebrate their uniqueness, discover their joy, and embody their passion for living. Wow. So without further adue, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Maura Joy Lusting. Welcome. Maura,
thank you very much. It's a pleasure to be here.
Um, you were part of this journey. A long time ago, were you?
Yes, I was.
Yes. This was filmed live, not this way with our zoom now, which wasn't even around and we looked at your art and you described your passion back then. So I'm so happy to have you back on.
Well, thank you. And I'm looking forward to to talk about all these things with you.
Yes, it's going to be fun and this is a heartfelt conversation. So we'll just let it flow and it'll be awesome. Excuse me. I want to start with a famous quote that I found just before an interview from best selling author, Erma Bombeck. She said this, "When I stand before God, at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, that I could say I used everything you gave me." Yes that's for me and the perfect seague into my first question with you ~ more on that. How does someone discover their unique gifts and realize what is truly possible for them so they can create and live their best life?
I love that quote from Erma, you know, one of the things I like to say is that they're gonna have to drag me off the dance floor kicking and screaming. You know, I want to squeeze squeeze every juicy drop out of life. Yeah, and, you know, another favorite quote of mine, something that I actually heard for the first time at a turning point many years ago, was was this one from the shoes of the fishermen by Mauricorris West. It is it costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the courage or the Enlightenment, to pay the price. One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk. of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover yet demand no easy return of love. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. And one has to court doubt and darkness is the cost of knowing. And the last line of it is one needs a will stubborn and conflict but apt always to the total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying." When I first heard that, I thought, I get it. Yeah, yeah, you have to be willing to say yes to opportunity, then figure out how you have to figure out what you love to do and then do it on purpose.
Yes, I'm just taking that in. I saw that it is a quote that you love from exert for the shoes of the fishermen. Sorry for my little throat doing its thing. Do you feel that that everyone caught stowed in darkness in their life and they have to go through that to come up the other side for knowing?
Yep. We, if you're, if you're not, what's that expression? If you don't, not living life on the edge, you're taking up too much space, if you're not experimenting, if you're not open, you're not learning. If you're not curious, then the alternative is complacency, apathy and boredom. And that's a form of slow death. You know? It's just a reality that when you feel the butterflies, that's when you're actually playing full out. That's when you're stepping into life.
Mm hmm. So how does somebody discover these unique gifts that we have, as we were saying, we don't want to die with our gifts, in our song, you know, left within us? How did they realize that? How do you help people do that?
Well, you just notice what you love to do. You know, start becoming self aware about the things that trigger you that you know you feel impatient with versus the things that give you joy and excite you and that you lean into and want to do more of It's It's a feeling thing that can also be intellectualized and then you look to attract and to connect with the people who are like you that enjoy those things as well.
How does somebody develop the courage to take action in the direction of their goals? If they have these doubts and the fears that are coming up saying, No, you can't do that. You can't have that. Someone else can but not you, Susie Joe. Mm hmm.
Oh, you're so right. There's so many people that don't live into their potential. I mean, you're making me think of Marianne Williamson is, quote, you know, Our deepest fear is not that we're inadequate. It's that we're powerful beyond measure. Yeah, and so on. When it's like there's two sides to this coin. It's about saying yes to what you love and saying no to what you find intolerable. And I like to say we don't get what we desire. We get our standards, we get what we tolerate. And the only way you can get clear on what, you know what should be a yes or a no and you're Life is when you're clear on what your core values are, on what it is that you stand for, for yourself, as well as what you take a stand for in the world. And, you know, people that have low self esteem, you know, you've heard me talk about the my focuses on helping women to build self esteem through self care that so many women put themselves last. And the the key is learning how self care is actually a responsibility, an obligation, not an indulgence. It's not a selfish act. It's taking care of you so that you can in turn, be your best for others. And you know, when you help a woman do that when a woman steps into owning what she truly loves, and then what she is has to offer, and then consistently acts on that. Oh my goodness, her world changes.
So again, this is a growth mindset and setting healthy boundaries is something a lot of my clients have difficulty with and they have obstacles in the way They start to see that they're spiraling down at times, they're repeating patterns. So I have a process I take them through to break through that to the other side and permanently shift their beliefs and their patterns or habits and goals. I can, how do you do that?
Part of it is, so many people are afraid to be alone. And so when you can become so become self aware, it's you start to pay attention to what it is that you are, like, triggered by what it is that you do when you're triggered, how you're interacting, how you like, you know, one of my favorite books is the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz no lease, and that's something that I use for teaching as a system for helping people move forward is that those four agreements that are you know, first of all, being impeccable with your word. And knowing how powerful what you say is, people don't don't often recognize just how much impact their words have both to others as as well as when they make a promise to themselves. And if They don't keep it. And then you know about taking things personally. Over and over through the years, of course, we all encounter different challenges. And the older we get, the more challenges we've had. And for me, what I've learned consistently is, you know, is not taking it personally not making assumptions and letting go of expectations, stop shooting on ourselves and on others. Right? And, and just doing your best, your best is good enough, darn it. And so but being honest with yourself about whether it's your best and lighten up, people that take themselves so seriously, they think it's the end of the world when they make a mistake, or they don't, they don't get that that raise or that job or that relationship, instead of saying, No, today's just today. So you know, mindfulness and meditation are great tools, developing consistent morning rituals, habits that build self awareness, build health. There's just a lot of different strategies we can implement. Reading. I mean, leaders are readers. So it's like, you know, what do you do with your free time? Is it spent in front of a TV? Or is it spent growing and learning and expanding and connecting with others? travel, things that will inspire, enlighten and empower you in different ways? And of course, art? Hmm.
Well, there's a couple things there. I want to dive into with your answer with that. One is when you talk about leaders are readers, I love that. So how does someone consciously choose how they desire to experience their life and lead with their heart, not with their heads because I think leaders lead with their heart.
Now, the best leaders do. They understand that it's relationships at the end of the day, that, you know, when you look back on your life, it'll be who did I love? Who did I serve? Did I you know, do I feel that my life mattered? Who was I loved by ~ those are the tests. A trail of breadcrumbs that matters most not how much we made or how many things we owned or lost along the way. It's how you feel, right? And, and memories. I mean, you know, as we get older, perhaps it becomes less easy to travel and do the things we might have done when we were younger. So what becomes so important are the memories and being able to draw upon gratitude. Looking like consistently every day drawing upon gratitude for the things in our lives, and they may be small, it'll be about celebrating the extraordinary in the ordinary, and then around those memories that we can lock and load and then sip on like a fine wine when we need to have you know, when we different experiences in our life, different turning points, whether it's family related friends, travel, moments of achievement, climbing a mountaintop or watching or being there when a baby's born. All of those things are the memories we can sip on. And so really, life should be about creating memories that last.
So you both, yourself and your husband and my husband myself, we all we have a passion for traveling and cultures and exploring the world. And right now we can't do this because in the moment in history, you know, we're going through individually in global major, major transformation. And there's a lot of people out there feeling a lot of pain, and hurt and anger, doubt and frustration. Can you share an exercise that could help people master these emotions and turn these feelings of anger, fear, doubt pain into love?
Well, you know, I mean, falling in love with what is isn't easy, but it is a decision. It's accepting that where we're at is and you know, that doesn't make it permanent either. It's simply what's happening now. And you know, there's no point in second guessing the future and there's no point in having regret about the past. You can remember it but watch it Watch exactly what emotion you choose to experience when you remember things. And you get to rewrite the past when you become self aware around how you remember it. And I love to, you know, follow things like Abraham Hicks, for instance, where like, my most important task is to align my emotions with what I want with my desires. And then from there, find the least resistant thoughts around it. And then act on the inspired thoughts that arise. And when you do that, when you realize that everything actually will result from your state and not the other way around. That you actually can control the outcome by controlling who you're being in the matter. Like when I say control, I mean you have influence you have impact. And to do that consistently, and to have certain affirmations that you you do and to have certain rituals actually around self care with with your mindset. Like for me, I love to go for us. bathing, where I walk into the forest. And I instantly go into a certain mindset while I'm there and become very aware of every leaf, every dapple of light, the different things that literally feed my soul, just as much as I fuel my body, I fuel my soul. And that then means that I can pour into others. And the thing about heart, the biggest lesson again, I said it before, it's not taking things personally. But take responsibility. Absolutely. If you can, if there's something that you're saying, hey, what was my unintended impact here? Oh, okay, I guess I could have done that differently. But beyond that, there's no point in beating yourself up because the moments already gone. Instead, it should be okay. Well wonder what's going on in them. You know, let's say you've had a negative Converse interaction with someone. I wonder what's going on in their lives that causes them to be this way right now, rather than making it be all about you.
Again, a few things from that. You know, one thing, I love this from Wayne Dyer, "Let go, let God" whatever God is to you ~ the universe, higher self, whatever that is for the person, but that that let the process of letting go and allowing even when I feel in my body right now, there's an expansion and I don't have to figure it out, I can give it up and put whatever worry or if I have anxiety or concerns or I don't know the how I put it in the hands of God or the Universe. And then like you said, I love that too, that when people, circumstances, opportunities show up in our life or guidance, take inspired action meaning ~ in spirit ~ and take that action. Don't let it go by you know, let take that action because that's who saying yes. And also that when we're saying when we're in a difficult time. I love again the phrase this too shall pass. And to remind yourself, this is just a moment in time. And you know, we which time isn't really it's something we measure but it's not really in reality.
One of the Things that I do every morning is a very short page of journaling. And it's nice to do it again, as a recap at night at the very least, I always do it each morning. It's literally just one page. And it's got three components to it. One is gratitude. The other is power thoughts. And then the third section is today. And in the power thoughts, there are certain things that I repeat every day, and then things that I add to it. And the things that I always write are something wonderful is about to happen. answers and help come when I least expect it. doors are opening things always work out in the end momentum is building whether I see it or not. Mm hmm. And you know, it's amazing what that does for you. When you when you lean into that and you trust it because it is true. And it shifts your your focus, right.
Mm hmm. Those are great to pair thoughts every day. I do meditate every day. It's a prayer / meditation. Both are daily rituals that I incorporate and I read inspiration material every day. And that's a non negotiable for me because I love it. Yeah, it's my time it's to get to focus so I can show up for myself and then show up for the people I serve and my family. And like you're saying, get out of your way. Don't make it personal. Because most people there they have their own stuff going on. That's right. What are some of the myths that you share that keep someone in that stuck in perilous state? I know we've talked about the stuck in powerless before, but how do you help women shift into this state of confidence and greater health and well being? So let's dive in!ers.
While so many people think that they're not enough. I mean, we're all you know, endowed with that one at some time. where, you know, we, we are a work in progress. We have our moments good and bad. And it's about you know, as you said, like what do you do to pull up when you start to spin down, right? It's that becoming aware, immediately becoming aware First of all, if you've noticed what's going on in your body and say, Oh, isn't that interesting? And then, you know, kind of examine it, hold it up to the light. it you know, in that movie that Tom Hanks just did about Mr. Rogers, there was one line in it, but I loved he said, whatever, it's only what can't be spoken about that can't be managed. So it's really about what we're aware of, that we don't blindly automatically by default fall into that when you are aware, then you have choice. So then what can you do? Well, then there's different things you can do rather than because, you know, especially now with COVID, and people being isolated and working from home and in kids being at home and parents trying to work and take care of kids and homeschool, like it's just very stressful for many people and of course, jobs being lost, incomes being cut people that are extroverts being more sequestered and finding that very difficult because a lot of events have been canceled and people are shifting to online. There's just so many adjustments that are being made. And it's well how do I Why, how do I maintain my state? In spite of that, right? It's that the daily rituals it is the tapping into whatever the new normal is, rather than just saying, Oh, poor me And isn't that this really sucks? It would be. Okay. All right. So the you know Who Moved My Cheese Okay, my cheese is in the same spot anymore but that doesn't mean there's not enough cheese to go around it. It's how do I adjust my sale and you know plugging into online tools and connections and then like, okay, the gym, the gym shut down. There's a good example. And it has reopened but I haven't gone back and many others haven't either. Instead, I developed a new routine around exercise. Some people just decided they would stop exercising and then yet there are others, many of them like myself, who simply said, Okay, I'm going to bike. I'm going to walk every day. I'm going to do some exercises at home, and as a result, I've maintained my health and my food. I haven't succumb to the temptation to constantly comfort eating And bingeing and stress eating, that hasn't happened for me because I have all of these systems in place for self care.
Mm hmm. A lot of people too. I've created programs around eating during this time where people who do have a problem with that. And so that's been a gift for them to create this program to help people in those areas. Well, it's funny, you should mention that because, you know, that's one of the things that happened for me during COVID. It's like, okay, not able to go to the meetings the same way anymore. What What can I learn and what are the systems that I draw? And of course, I turned that into a program
that I could offer to other women as well about, you know, being able to manage their state converting the chaos to clarity, so to speak.
Can you share three key steps for women to do that convert their chaos into a state of clarity and focus?
Well, the first is to become self aware. And the second is to practice the self care around the journaling mindset and The exercise the hydration, the fueling the connecting piece to continually growing and learning, not just sliding back but actually saying, Okay, what do I need to do that's different, to be able to still continue to find joy and plan ahead. I mean, we may not be traveling now. But I've already got my next trip prepared for next year. Because I am trusting in the process that this too shall pass. And when it does mean, I'm not the only one that's already planning their trips for next year and the pent up demand for this is going to be incredible. And yes, we'll be doing it intelligently with COVID restrictions in place whatever's necessary. It'll still be incredible. Mm hmm.
Our souls love to be curious and it is all about expansion and love and creativity and one of your passions is in caustic art. I want you to explain what that is, and how would a beginner's mind set up their own studio space get started and use this as a tool for them to move into that space of creativity and expansion and bring their talents out.
Well, first, let me tell you how I found out caustic. It was at a time where I had shifted careers. I find many encaustic artists like myself Are people who've used a lot of other techniques and mediums first, maybe they've painted with oil or acrylic or watercolor, or pottery or Kraftwerk or sewing and different like that they're artists, perhaps in other ways, or they may not have touched a paintbrush of any kind since high school. Okay, so there's from one end to the other. And for me, I mean, I had left a career in financial planning, and decided to pursue my art and was exploring it and discovered this technique that I've never heard of before, which is surprising because it's two 3000 years old, where you're painting with more And wax and caustic is a Greek word to meaning to heat and to burn. And what they're doing is you're melting a pot of hot wax with pigment and resin mixed into it. So it's, it's a wax paint and you're melting that 250 degrees and maintaining it at that temperature. And then you're applying it to a canvas with paint brush, and then or, you know, metal tools. And then you're, you're fusing it and you're manipulating and spreading it around with either a heat gun blowtorch or a hot iron. And you can incorporate different textures and properties into it. You can build up layers. The wax is translucent, it's fragrant, it's all natural because of the beeswax and there's the negative ions. It's just an incredibly interesting, challenging and rewarding technique to play with. It draws on your your curiosity, your playfulness And it forces you to let go of all expectation because it's different from anything you've ever done before. And yet familiar also a lot of fun. Hmm, it sounds like they were they could learn? Well, there's a number of ways. I mean, certainly you could Google it, it "Encausti Art" ~ the word. You could know what I did when I first began was I took a workshop with a local artist, and then ended up taking a five day workshop with her in the US. Now, that's not happening these days, the same way, right? Those are temporarily on hold. But I started attending conferences every year after that, to connect with other people that were using this medium and coming in from all over the world. Currently, what I do is I offer workshops in my studio for it, just small groups. And people can also just get an idea of what that looks like by going to my websites. So I've got one that's just dedicated for the painting workshops. So it's a number of ways that you can look at it. So I talked about being a hot mess about coming and painting with wax and discovering your inner child and being amazed at what you create, because they always come away with an aha moment around themselves and their own ability and what's possible and like it goes far beyond the art.
Because you state "that life is art, you are the canvas" ~ please give me an example of one of the students that came and got into this and immerse themselves and who were they before and what what was their aha moments? What were their takeaways and the results?
Mm hmm. I've had a number of women who have come make comments like, I didn't know I could do that. I didn't think I had that in me. And, and this is fun. Because, you know, artists, something that on our own. As we get older, we tend to put on the back shelf because it's not going to make money generally speaking. We don't see it as a career option most of us and it is something that we don't see as just starting ourselves from scratch which is pictured as being sort of, you know, when we're in kids in school and taking an art class, right? So what happens is when when these women come to my studio for class, many of them are professional women. They've got careers and stuff. Some are semi retired but not you know, they're at all different stages. I've had younger women and university come as well. Anyways, what I've seen happen now a number of times, in one woman was actually in tears. She was just thrilled. She said, I actually haven't picked up a paintbrush since high school. And I never thought I was creative. I just came because everybody else was coming and I said what the heck and and she had the biggest Aha. And then other women who actually have dabbled quite a bit in art different medium, say, Oh, this is cool. I can see so many different things that I can do now that I can incorporate my knowledge from other techniques into this and take it in a new direction. And one woman decided she was going to invest fully and went, bought herself all the equipment she needs so that she can now paint At home and you know continue to stay connected with me and learn more from me but also paint on her own and not just come to my studio.
Yeah, and I think a lot of people later in their life ~ you hear about artists and authors and you know writers that they're they explore that then because they've been doing that nine to five job maybe all their life looking after their family. And now they have some time to really say, what what, what do I want to explore what new thing do I want to do? What brings me joy?
Well, and where there's just something magical about encaustic I'm gonna put the just say it right out loud. I mean, I've painted with everything else. First. I've experimented with different things and nothing gives me the joy that this doesn't. It's hard to explain why. But over and over, I see that happen with the people that come and take a workshop is they have these, these eye opening moments and going, Oh, this is cool. It's just so different from anything they've done before. And it's because you can't control this Kind of a paint the same way you can control others, it makes them become much more self aware of, of their own mindset around their own, you know, perfectionist attitude around things. Like it really it's like, it's it's helping people become self aware in different ways than they ever expected.
Hmm, that's beautiful. And I want to seague into choice points in our life because again, I've been an entrepreneur for over 30 years and now I'm at a point right now that I love the work I'm doing. I love the show that I brought back to life and you know, writing the rest of it, but we have choice points in our life that different segments and you talk about how people can use moments as pivot points to create the life they love. Expand on your pivot points versus my choice points, or do you see it as the same?
Well, you can tell me in a minute I give you one of my pivot points, you give me one of yours. For me a pivot point was When I decided to become a coach, I had been a certified financial planner. I had left that even though I loved relationships and helping people around the topics that mattered most to them. I hated filling out paperwork, and I didn't enjoy number crunching. And I had done it for 17 years. And I had reached a point where I just decided I didn't want to do that anymore. And I went into my art, and doing my art, and getting into galleries and exhibitions and things. I noticed a pattern and who was buying my work. And they were writers, they were coaches, they were doctors. They were public speakers, and so on. And I became curious. So I took a workshop on an introduction to coaching so I would understand my so called target market better. And that's where I had a huge epiphany. I had this Turning Point moment. I was the second one in a year because, you know, my husband had said go ahead and let go of the other of the financial planning. We'll figure this out. I had gone into the art and then notice this pattern and then That led to the coaching piece. And from that point on, there was no looking back because now I went full tilt, threw myself into all of the coaching, training and everything around neuroscience and NLP and everything else, right? It just one door led to another, as I kept expanding on my ability to coach and help other people shift their mindset and create their best life. And art never, never got left behind. It sort of stayed as a piece of that, because that's one of the things that's so unique about me and it's how I see the world is through the eyes of an artist, and I help others access their own creativity, whatever that looks like for them.
That makes sense. No, for sure. And that's sort of my story. Also, when I became an entrepreneur 30 years ago, I like to travel, always have, and I wanted to ski and take Friday's off and make long weekends instead of you know, I had a four day sort of contract and I took the weekend off and I dove into creating "Personal Best" ~ my first company and that was all about computers. I used to be really good at behind the scenes, then I went into the healing field and did so much training in that area and of course Coaching and that you brought up. So very similar. You brought up the, the part that you're studied in the area of Neuroscience. Can you expand on that for our listeners?
Well,not quite sure how to answer that question because it's huge. It is. But it is an understanding about, you know, reptilian brain and working within the frontal lobe and how that develops over time. And at a certain age, so that only like, and I will, I will segue with that into what it means to be an elder, because that's where you now have more access to the frontal lobe than you did as a younger person. And it's an evolution and as a woman, we go through these different seasons in our lives. And now I'm at that stage where you know, I'm past the reproductive stage I'm past the the needing to be this big success in the world. Instead, I get to step into the role of elder to become more of a sage and that doesn't mean that you know, I'm in any way slowing down it for my, to my mind. life begins at 60 this is where this is the most fun of any stage I've ever been at.
I think I love that the elder ino the role of a Sage.
Yeah. Freedom ~ Yes and along with that, is something that I know that you work with is our health and well being ~ which is number one, if you don't have your health and well being, you can't live your life.
That's right. Your first health is your wealth.
Yes, yes. I know that wrong. Your first wealth is your health. They're all got it right now.
You know, Eckhart Tolle's Book "A New Earth Awakening, to your life's purpose. He shares with us about our inner purpose, our beingness that's so important. But we also have our outer purpose where that you talked about values, how we align with our core values. And I'm wondering how, you know, what would you want to share in the secret to living your best life if you were going to come up with a wisdom gem ~ that's what I like to call them. To literally, this connect with this inner beingness and, you know, and what we use what form we use for us to awaken and live our best life. Another big question for you Maura, but I know you can handle it.
Yeah, but I'm gonna answer it with seemingly glib answers. So just bear with me on this. I mean, this, I love the quote, where you know what, the secret to a long and happy marriages. And that is a short memory in a sense of humor. You know, like, there is no big mystery to this. It isn't this big secret, right? With the same thing goes for ourselves, like, be happy with less. You know, it's about not continually yearning and craving. It's about learning how to quite literally celebrate the extraordinary in the ordinary. That doesn't mean we stop wanting things. There's nothing wrong with having desire and wanting to become better in do more with less. But there's a difference between needing more and simply wanting more. And that is what gives us access to that to be playful with life is an imagination that can soar, to have that combination of gratitude, and imagination and expectation without being attached to the outcome. Mm hmm. Those things I mean, they really are gold. And if you can become self aware and check in continually, where am I at in the process? If I'm feeling down, what is it? What do I need to pull up will will Robinson pull up, you know, it's like pull out of the spiral and and notice where you're at and shift it because you can and nobody else can do it for you.
It's kind of like if you want to lose weight, and you say, you know, oh, Anna, can you go work out at the gym or go for a walk for me, I'm just gonna sit here on the couch but work and um, you know, you have to do the work. It's all about doing the work and you know, I love the quote by Albert Einstein "Imagination is more powerful than knowledge because it's literally the preview of life's coming attraction." And I love that because it's when you can imagine children know how to do that, you know, that's right. We've lost that. And to get back to like you're saying the joyful, playful way of being and just be in that moment, but the gratitude of life that you have met, life is magical. And we don't have to wait for a crisis to happen. Let it be a health crisis or financial crisis for to wake up, you can wake up today.
That's where you can find your inner power through art by accessing imagination. And one other thing I would answer to you is about the four stages for transformation for someone because you mentioned the gym as an example. And you were so right, you know, it's, you can't just, you know, buy a membership. You have to show up and when you show up, it's going to be tough at first, and you're going to hate it and you're going to feel self conscious if you're out of shape and others are Regular gym goers and it's about lightening up not judging yourself but just being glad you're there congratulating yourself on what you are doing, and do the due trust the process. There are these four stages. The first is excitement when we've got a new idea. And we're thinking, yes, I'm finally going to do this, whether it's starting a course at school or new relationship or a new job or a new diet or whatever, joining the gym ~
and cooking new recipes, I love to cook!
Okay, well, there you go. But then, but the next piece to that is immediately know that all the doubt is going to come up. Because your old track that you've been running in your head, your old beliefs, your old habits are still there. They haven't been changed yet. You're just trying on something new in that moment of excitement and anticipation and hope. It's the fear that will instantly sabotage you and you'll come up with the doubts of why did you think you could do this? You've never done it before. You've always failed blah, blah, the things that will pull you down, right? So it's Knowing that that's normal is such a relief for most people, because they never, they always thought it was just them, that they were justified in what they really think they can't do. And then it's so it's about suspending that disbelief as soon as you recognize it, and then stepping into the void into the just doing the do, following the instructions, letting go of self judgment in the process, because you are not who you are going to be. And you're not who you were. But you're no longer you know, you're in that Limbo state. And you must continue to follow through on the process because ultimately, you will become a new version of yourself, the new identity will form the as you said, the cake will be baked, as long as you don't mess up the recipe and you just follow the instructions along the way. It goes from a beautiful picture in a cookbook to this beautiful piece on the table that everybody digs into and says yum.
How does somebody develop willpower? Literally transforming old habits in beliefs in that how do they develop that inner whim willpower?
Well, you've heard the expression that you know obstacles are the things we see when we take our eyes off on why when your why is so clear and you know people only change when the fear was when the pain of remaining the same as greater than the fear of something new so, so it's really that it's that when your your why is so vivid that the it's like you got to get off the hot stove, it's time to jump off the stove and get into the pool. You know, because you're scared of the cold water but you got to jump anyways because the stoves too hot. It's that it's the cat and Hot Tin Roof. That's when people change and that's when they as long as they understand there is a system that's going to kick in that then if that's why, you know, it's not enough to just join a gym and just show up you have to hire a personal trainer in the beginning to hold you capable and accountable and support you and how you tweak your program to get it right so that they're giving you the encouragement and they're helping you get the results. It. These are just like there's no mystery to this. But why don't more people do it? Because for a number of reasons, but it's about timing in our lives as well. And you know, that expression when the students ready the teacher will appear.
Mm hmm, well, I also think it's taking one step at a time and being kind to yourself and, you know, get rid of a blame game or judgment game or expectation, because the idea of going into the void can be very scary for a lot of people where I know like meditation is, you know, when you go into that quietness, and you connect up with something bigger than yourself, and you have that vision, you know, that can be a scary thing. So I think in some cases, yes, like somebody to be there for them to hold their hand at the beginning, but then not be there forever for them. Like that's allowed them to empower themselves.
You know, your parents More of a friend and a mentor later, in the beginning, they're your teacher. And you know you they're holding you capable and accountable every day as when you're a child, but later their role changes. And a good mentor will do the same. I think about if you think back on school and who your favorite teachers were, that really stood out for you, what was it that they did, it was the way they encouraged you the way they saw greatness and potential in you, the way they they just guided you a little bit when you needed it most.
I love that because I think back to university and I had this prof who we'd all go get a coffee or tea or lemon water and we go sit and listen coaches where we were meeting and he asked something once and I remember answering and I'm a little chunker little things. All little things add up for me it's an you know, this is an NLP term versus a big chunker. I look at all the little things in at school as to highlight everything because I thought it was important. And I still have some of the way I think and talk even my family of say Where are you going with that? way around. I'm like, no, it's important. It's important, you know, but there is there is a something to the way that I speak. But this one teacher, he asked something, and I remember putting my hand up and talking with the response of whatever I said. But I went on, and I was very comfortable because he allowed he created a space that was safe that we could say whatever we were thinking. And at the end, he said, we're that's very, very interesting. I don't know what it has to do with what I was talking about. But he says, Thank you for sharing and just to give that permission to me when I was in my early 20s, you know, to be able to explore in a safe place and for people not to judge or anything to to grow in that area. So that's a great idea to think back who your teachers were, the adjective I would give him is he was kind.
One of my favorite teachers was my Latin teacher back in grade eight, who brought the language to life for all of us and encouraged and it's in sited such an excitement in the class of students wanting to compete in a friendly manner and learn and stand up and recite out loud and she gave prizes she she just she would have us taking the roles of the different characters they wouldn't volcano Pompei not without lascivious erupted she brought it to life in a way that still vivid for me, I ended up majoring in languages as a result.
I know when you are talking I can imagine and see it and envision it and I did go to Pompei and yes I have been there in real life. So cool. Maura, this has been wonderful. Can you share with our listeners today this unique gift that you've created for them? And also, I want everybody to know that all the links to reach more on how you can reach here and this gift will be below the episode in the show notes.
Well, I would invite your listeners to tap into a video called "Find your Inner Power through Art" in which I talk about creativity journaling. Like, there's different forms of journals. There's regular journaling and creativity journaling. So it's how art can inspire and empower you to live your best life.
That's perfect because, you know, that's what this Show is about, so that's totally in alignment with that. And I think you're also we're going to give a link to a pdf "Is there a thing as overnight success? And your answer's no. So we'll give that to them, too. And thank you very much. It's very generous.
In that article, I talked about the different stages of transformation that I touched on earlier.
Yeah, that'll be helpful for them to see.
Yes, for sure! Maura I thank you for sharing from your Heart and Soul today, your wisdom on shifting from chaos to clarity, and that life is truly an art form ~ and we are the we have our own Canvas, and we can create and live our best lives on our terms.
Thank you very much.