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Reclaim the Magical Quality of your Life
Faye is an Internal Conflict Resolution Expert, Stress Elimination Specialist, Relaxation Coach, International Speaker, World-Class Trainer, Global Citizen and Founder of the 7-R Formula for Rapid Transformation.
Faye was born into conflict and chaos in the Middle East, and she unknowingly took the patterns of internal conflict with her even after leaving the area of conflict and immigrating to Canada. Over the course of 15 years, she battled with the symptoms of burnout including fatigue, insomnia, depression, anxiety, and pain. She has developed a unique solution to reset the nervous system and work with the subconsciousness mind in a way that is quick, natural, safe, and effective with long-lasting results ~ to reclaim the magical quality of your life.
She is on a mission to reconnect busy professionals to the magic within so that they can have the health, careers, and relationships they have always dreamed of.
Special Offer: 15% off of Coaching (email Faye and share Moira Sutton) to confirm
Moira's Website: http://moirasutton.com/
Reiki Session : http://moirasutton.com/long-distance-reiki-healing-session/
Welcome to Season two, Episode 35. Reclaim the magical quality of your life with international speaker and relaxation coach Faye Lawand. Fay is an internal conflict resolution expert, stress elimination specialists, relaxation coach, international speaker, global citizen and founder of the 7-R Formula for rapid transformation. Faye was born into conflict and chaos in the Middle East, and she unknowingly took the patterns of internal conflict with her, even after leaving the area of conflict and immigrating to Canada. Over the course of 15 years, she battled with the symptoms of burnout, including fatigue, insomnia, depression, anxiety and pain. She has developed a unique solution to reset the nervous system and work with the subconscious mind in a way that is quick, natural, safe and effective, with long lasting results to reclaim the magical quality of your life. So without further adieu, I would like to welcome Faye Lawand. Welcome Faye!
Hi, Moira. Good morning. Good morning. Thank you for that warm welcome.
Welcome. See, that's cold where you are, we were sharing just before we started our heartfelt conversation that you you're it's cold down, down in New Zealand right now.
Yes, it's the middle of winter here.
But it is I love the seasons. And I love that. You know, the idea. Well, winter, you can cozy up, you know, we just bought a new home. We didn't realize when we looked at the home, that it didn't have fireplaces, we've always had a fireplace upstairs and downstairs. But we felt you know at Nova Scotia is totally different the heating system and we do have a fire pit outside for the summer. So there you go.
Oh, wonderful. I hope you're not gonna need it too much in the summer, Moira.
No, it'd be fun to go down there and enjoy the fire and listen to maybe loons or something
Like marshmallows, maybe?
Yeah, s'mores. Right. smores when we were kids? Yes.
So, Faye, I'd like to really start here with your own personal story and your journey to healing and the transformation that you experienced in your life.
Yes, so as you mentioned in the intro, I was born in the Middle East, and in Lebanon, actually, in the 1970s. And as you know, and as your listeners know, the Middle East is a part of the world that is mired with trouble and conflict and chaos, and has been since the beginning of my life journey anyway. So I was born right before the start, Lebanese Civil War of the 70s, which spanned about 15 years. And it claimed the lives of hundreds of 1000s of people and it displaced millions of others. So my family and I, we were in that statistic Moira, of a families that left the country pretty early on in the piece. So we were there for maybe a few months to a year, we experienced the conflict for about a few months to a year before we left. And the story, the narrative that I always took with me is that, you know, we left early on, I was five when I left. My younger brother was about three, my little sister was about one and a half. So the narrative that I took that I was told and that I accepted to be true, was that we we weren't impacted by the war. We were some of the lucky ones. We didn't experience the war the way other people had. And while that so much of that is true. And there was a real knowledge of being grateful for not living in that, in the horrors of the war. There was a disconnect in the feeling, you know, like I never felt grateful on the inside, it was really difficult to access those positive internal states and with gratitude. And so there was this battle between knowing something and not feeling it inside yourself. And so fast forward into my adult life. Things were starting to crumble in all areas of my life. My career was in shambles. So my first career I was in teaching, I was in education. So my teaching career was in shambles I was burning out in that had massive, massive lack of purpose and meaning, even in a career like education, where you're giving so much where there is so much innate purpose in that. My personal relationships were a mess. It was impossible for me to find any happiness within a romantic relationship and I really craved it on the inside. I just couldn't be happy within a relationship. And also my personal health was terrible. My sleep was shockingly bad. I had horrible low self esteem, pounding headaches the whole time, anxiety attacks that I cannot explain this low mood where on the outside, there was such a veneer of positivity and cheerfulness, you know, and that's a very, very painful and see now a lot of my clients and in my clinic with my clients where we show one face to the world, and we live with another reality on the inside that so much pain and so much further internal conflict. And I had a lot of chronic pain as well. Anyway, so I was living with all of these symptoms, not just kind of like normalizing it, because, you know, they're somehow also I received a message from the culture where I was living, that it's normal, because many people around me weren't sleeping, many people around me had chronic pain, many people were unhappy and dissatisfied with their life. So I normalized what didn't feel natural. And, you know, Moira, yes, yes, it seems quite normal, mainstream and common. By normal, I mean, common, that people are battling with these symptoms, because there's a prevalence of them. But something is normal, it doesn't mean it's natural, or natural state is not to be unwell. It's not to be unhappy. And it's not to be unfulfilled. That's not our natural state. But of course, I didn't know that then. And so I just kept going until I couldn't go anymore.
And then we get stopped at times, like, you know, we can get stuck in, like accidents or illness or, you know, like we're being told, and we're going to talk about that some nudges that you've had that, you know, if we listen and see what's happening, you know, I believe that everything is happening for the greater good. Yes, and but it's to see that when you're not in that place, to say, Oh, yes, this is this is for something bigger than I can see. Because I have my vision and my mission, but that bigger, bigger picture, just let go. I do a lot of surrendering. And I want to talk about that, too. But yeah, we're going to talk about that. Letting go.
Moira, you know, we're not taught how to read the signs have come from the inside, you know, I don't know about you, but I never heard that message. I never got that message. It first of all, I never got the message that it's okay not to be okay. Never heard that message. And so I kept fighting not being okay. So creating further internal conflict. And I wasn't getting the results that I wanted. And you talked about eventually things catch up with you. And yes, they did. I mean, this the all of these unresolved internal conflicts caught up with me in a very real way, one day, on my way to work nights point. I was living in Curacao in the Caribbean. So I was basically living where other people vacation. Imagine that. I was living I hadn't all I was living like by the beach, beautiful palm trees everywhere. I mean, like, it was totally the life. Now when I look back at it, I'm like, Oh, my God Faye, I can't believe you actually live where other people vacation. life wasn't a vacation. It wasn't at all, because life was so difficult. And so I had also a lot of dis's with words, the words, the build up of my big meltdown, I had a lot of dizzy spells and a lot of fainting spells. And one morning, it really, really caught up with me, I was driving on my way to work, Moira, and I totally lost control of the car. And the car went spinning. And I passed out behind the wheel of the car and the car went spinning. And it landed on the other side of the road. And when I came to it was just a few moments that I had fainted, but it felt like an eternity. And I just and I could not explain what happened. I was petrified.
I would think you would be petrified but if you black out and you end up at the other side, and was the car flipped over or were you
No no. Luckily, nothing happened to me. Nothing happened to the car.
Well, you had Angels with you that day.
Totally. Angels with me throughout my life. I just didn't know that. Yeah, I didn't know that. Anyway, and and because I was I was a teacher at the time, right. So one layer of the fear was what happened and how do I explain it myself? The other layer of fear is How do I explain it to someone else when you're late for work? Like how do you what do you tell your boss your Hey, I'm late. I'm late to work because I lost control of the car. I stopped behind the wheel of the car, that's worse than telling. It's your homework.
It's like, like the logical ego mind kicked in, right? Instead of just from the heart. Like, yes, really happen. And you know, and if somebody can't really understand that, but yes, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves,
We totally do. And we don't give other people the opportunity to show their kindness and their humanity, because now the same boss, who knows my story is horrified that I was going through what I was going through, and she didn't know. So she in a way, we cut off the opportunity for other people to extend support, because that's who we are, as humans, we want to be there for each other. But if we're always hiding behind a mask of being okay, and not showing that we're not okay, where we're not allowing other people the opportunity to help and be there for us, just like we would like to be there. For others.
I think that's a learning lesson, especially for women. Because I know that when I was, in my early 30s, I, I had a lump removed that they didn't know if it was cancer or not. Luckily, it was not. But after that, I was told not to do certain things. And I was the one that had a perfect clean home, you know, and it was a big was a big thing to learn to let allow others to do things. And I've seen that I've seen that with many people, where they just oh, no, I got to get that done. And we don't, you know, I'm 62 young. I am I have a young nature. But you know, I looked at that and, and, well, I've learned it now I've learned that, you know, I have healthy boundaries I have for many, many, many years. And you know, I tell people I need space, or, you know, I take the time for that. Because I really can't show up for people as, as a coach, as a speaker in any for my family, for anyone in my life unless I take care of me first starting with self love, right?
100% I always say, you know, like, self care and self love and, and well being they're not luxuries like, especially in the world in which we live today. I think they're just non essentials for resilience, and, and being well, because I think in no time in history, have we had the demands on us that living in 2021 places on our nervous system. And if we don't make it create and take time to reset, and just be eventually we will wear out the nervous system is not equipped to deal with all of the information and all of the stimulation that we now experience in our environments around the world.
I get that. So do you have a reset exercise that you could share with us today?
Yes absolutely. So, so a non negotiable for me Moira and you experienced that a little bit as we were coordinating our meeting is how I relate to technology and how I relate to my phone like I am so disciplined around doing taking time away from the phone and time away from devices and time taking and time away from technology. And so just like intermittent fasting is so amazing for your gut health. I do digital intermittent fasting daily. And what that looks like is every day, about half an hour before I turn in, I turn off the phone, and I keep the phone turned off all through the night. And then until I wake up the next morning, I do my practice, I shower, I get dressed, I prepare my breakfast, and then I switch it on and I connect with technology and those of other people again, so I'm on for at least 10 hours a day. Those 10 hours not hyper connected. Because the thing is, especially you know when you when you in those moments right before you drop off night, and right after awakening the brain is so suggestible, the mind is so suggestible because the brain frequencies are so slow, they slow down in order for us to go to sleep. And during that time and the slowness of brainwave activity, we have access to our subconscious mind. The part of our mind that basically is driving show, so if in those critical moments of suggestibility and receptivity, we are being externalized by scrolling our social media or checking news or, or looking at emails right away. Right away. We are consuming the agenda of other people and we're at default, and we're thinking the thoughts of other people. We're thinking the opinions of other people, we're thinking about what other people are doing. We're thinking about what other people want from us, instead of just being with ourselves and connecting to ourselves. Because your internal, your you have an inner awareness. And an inner guidance totally knows what you need, what you need to do, and what it takes in order for you to be well, and healthy, happy, successful. But in those moments, you're not taking that time to be with yourself. And you're externalize, you're going to go for the rest of the day, feeling overstimulated and, and disconnected and anchored. Real grounding. So this is a non essential practice for me. And you know, it is one that when I work all night with my clients, one on one, one of the first things I have them do, even before we do any private coaching, is I put them on a digital reset plan, within three days, they come back to me, and they tell me that they've started feeling the difference, noticing the difference, of course, the nervous system knows how to take care of us.
So that's, that's a great wisdom gem for people. Because, yes, you know, I work from home. Also, I've been an entrepreneur for over 30 years, and my office has been at home and when I did healing work that I had an office outside of the home with the home too. And it's a real discipline, when it's in your home, it's very easy to walk in that door. And you know, and now I have not only the computer in my room and everything, you know, you have these laptops, you can take any Yes. So you know, it's on a lot and and frankly, I'm not on it a lot. I was this last month with selling a house and finding a home to the point yeah, we were all burning out because it was just too too much to keep looking at that. And not just with that the emotional state. This is Nova Scotia, like you the home sells, but they don't have to put either pending, they don't have to put sold. Here in Ontario you have to do it within so many hours, 24 or 48, or something to say that because when you get invested in a home and you think it's for sale, and then you find out oh sold again, sold again sold again. And you know, it's just too much. So, you know, how do you define burnout? Like, I know, we're talking about it, but how do you define it?
So burnout, if you think about it, I mean, it's basically when everything is gone, there's nothing left on the inside, right? It's like when you're depleted, you know, when when something burns when something burns or burns out, it's depleted, it's deleted, there's nothing left on the inside. So the way I define burnout, the way I see it, and my clients and the way I experienced it within myself, that when I was burnt out, there was nothing left there was no energy left, there was no joy left, there was no fulfillment, there was no no meaning was no, no well, being with no positivity was all gone. It was all gone. And you know, one of the what when And when that happens, life is difficult. But life is not meant to be difficult. We are not meant to be here to struggle more I really don't believe that we're not meant here. We're not we're not created to come into this world into this life to struggle.
No, I agree. I do agree, though, with if we have challenges in our life, or obstacles, how we perceive that there's an opportunity for growth? And and I think, yes, and we're all about expansion, the universe loves expansion, you know, that I know that and to expand ourselves to new experiences, new ways of being and I think this with this pandemic. You know, there's, there's an opportunity there that a lot of people take into they they're rethinking their lives. I talked to my best friend the other day, and we were talking about this and she was saying that, you know, because again, we can't because we're doing a big move. So you're getting on the move stuff a you know, you pay by weight and so we're thinking don't take that don't take that so I'm unloading so much let me sell it give it away, donate it just move it out. And because it's stuff and so my friend said that her friend just her students she's an artist just moved to Nova Scotia and she said she really started thinking again you know more of a mentalist what what do I need this stuff for? Do I really need it? Is it really serving me and I think that's a great opportunity and for people to connect with their family, their children, and to have that time away from that busy busy busy. You know that busy, busy, busy life.
So you asked me earlier about practices for nurse setting the resetting the nervous system, there's two more that are total non negotiables. The other one is every day really truly checking in with myself and and paying attention when I am Ask the question, "How am I" you know, like so many times we ask people around us the question, how are you? Rarely rarely do you get a really honest, authentic answer right or wrong?
I do. I do in my family, but that's the way we communicate. But yes, outside, maybe not. In my family, I do communicate that very clearly. But I understand what you're saying, a lot of people say, "I'm fine.", and they're not
And they're not fine. And a lot of times, you know, either. That's what we tell ourselves, or we don't ask ourselves the question. And really notice how we are so daily, I check in my notice, how does my body feel like what's going on in my body noticing sensations, I mean, now we know the practice of somatics and somatic therapies are so fundamental in resolving trauma at the nervous system level, which is the level at which the trauma is created and stored, to the working with sensations is so important for healing the nervous system and keeping it resilient and robust. So checking in with the sensations, noticing the sensations in the body, you get a sense of how the body is, and then checking in, you know, with my breathing, okay, how am I breathing, noticing and acknowledging that I'm breathing.
The miracle of life.
Checking in with my emotions, and checking in with my thoughts, and then stepping back, noticing what else I notice. This simple practice, which takes less than three minutes has been a life changer for me. This is the same practice, I start off all my clients with and it is amazing what comes up, because we you don't know, just because you're not aware that you're sad or angry, or there's tension in your body, or stiffness in a part of your body, it doesn't mean it's not there. It doesn't mean it's not there. And eventually, because all of these balances inside are looking for resolution, they will come to the surface, sometimes in a moment of crisis or in a really heightened situation. So this is a preventative measure to, to, to understanding first what's going on, but also preventing these symptoms from escalating to a point of crisis. And the other practice, which is non negotiable for me, is eliminating two words from my language. And that is the word should and its derivatives should have to need masked, ought. That is such a restrictive, you know, because language comes from the part of our mind where emotion is created. Emotion drives the nervous system and the mind to when we are using restrictive language, we are putting ourselves in a restrictive mindset cut off from possibility.
Yes, yes. And, and I love that, that you brought that up. Because I've been saying that for years and, you know, should know it can be a could, you know, you have you have a choice. Again, if somebody's telling you should from an NLP standpoint, it's literally if you think somebody's pointing a finger at you saying you should do that. No, I could do that. I'll think about that. Thank you, you know, I'll make the choice of what I'm doing. But that should, should should, or you shouldn't dress like that, or you should dress like that I am so for... That's why my time my tagline is create the life you love on your terms, is no one else's terms, not your not your half in your life, your you know, the love of your life, not your children, not your mother, not your best friend, you it's your life. You get to own the good, the bad, the ugly, and you are the director. And if we take responsibility, how we respond to things in the moment, you know, we we get to also celebrate all the wins in it. And frankly, I think a lot of people are really hard on themselves. And instead of just being you. That is such a movement for me just to you know, the freedom, the freedom to be you uniquely us there's not another soul on the earth that is like each individual.
I agree 100%. And the other thing that happens when you are in that should mindset and that should mentality is from a neurological point of view. You're operating from the default center of the brain and of the nervous system. In that default center part of the brain and the nervous system, you're in this story. You're in the autobiography in the self autobiography, you're in that negative looping state. You're in a very Excuse me. You're in very much in the habitual part of the mind. When you step out and you start using more expansive language like Could or might, you're in the present centered network of the brain, the present centered network of the brain is where the magic happens. That's why I mentioned this possibility. There's there's expansion, there's choice, there's pause, there is there's, there's insights, we don't have insights when we are in our default, where when we are in the should, when we're in restriction, there's no insight. We're just on auto repeat there.
So yeah, so for someone to unleash their full potential, access their full potential, and then really embody this and live this like, every day, how does internal like, I know you're sharing a lot. But again, I would love an exercise, again, that you share that how people can do that, because they're, again, each one of us has a unique soul purpose. And part of my mission is for people to, you know, discover that and, like, we were saying, embody that live that be that magical, as you're saying, reclaim that magical quality of their life. Because it's precious, it's a gift, it's a huge gift.
And Maura it is it is wired into us biologically, I mean, I know when we hear it, like it's in all of the philosophical texts, and it's in all of the wisdom texts, and it's an all of the spiritual texts, you know, that whole idea of we are created, magical. And we are like, I know, it's an all of that. And, and I totally believe that. But I love that now we live in an age where science can also backup what we've known for eternity. And we are and now science is showing our nervous systems that are wired, we are biologically hardwired, to live magically, because that part of the nervous system that isn't the fight flight freeze is the part of ourselves and the part of our biology, the part of neurology, our neurology that can give us what we want, that can give us what we crave for. It can give us what we desire and what we deserve. But here's the problem. The problem is, first of all, we don't know about it, not you know, we don't know about it, until until we need to know about it. It's not I never heard this message ever, ever heard this message until I was 47. That's the first part that there isn't there isn't enough. We don't know enough. Nerves aren't as mainstream, I think it needs to be, but it's the things are starting to change now. And the other the other part is, is that we spend so much time in the doing part of the nervous system, fight flight freeze of the nervous system, so that eventually, those stress responses become so unregulated, that we are totally disconnected from the other branch of the nervous system that knows how to give you what you want. That branch of the nervous system, that's that magic, it knows how to make how to make you happy, and healthy, and successful and thriving. And by thriving, I mean, like living the life that you want. But the problem is that we spend too much time in that doing mode, thinking mode, not fight flight mode,
And the nervous system the nervous system is created with a capacity to rebound. But it can't switch the button on its own, we need to switch the button in order for the nervous system to know to do what it knows how to do, which of which is to repair which is to restore which is which is to reproduce and which is rejoice. The nervous system knows how to do that.
But our bodies, if you think about it, our bodies like I was staring at my wrist the other day and just the pulsing, you know, below the wrist. And, and just fascinated by my own body, you know, thinking? Yes, look at that. And you know, you think about your heartbeat and stuff and just how our body just it just and nature and everything we're part of nature. It's just a miracle if you stop and look at it. And I also studied neuroplasticity for a little while years ago and that from the hardware to the software and that we can change things. We're not we're not, you know, dead set in certain ways. Again, we have choice. We have freedom and to you know, the things that we desire like you said. We can have all those things. And I think I think it's really trusting and believing and knowing. For me it's part of that law of attraction to ask, and then trust, know, believe and allow and I think if we get out of our own way in many aspects of our life You know, magic happens. Like you said, reclaiming the magic again, because this has just happenned, you know, we did put an offer in another home. And, you know, we did it quite quickly. And it was quite the investment. It was not as far from like it was still in Ontario, so sort of safe not moving out of the province. And, you know, even that night, I woke up all stressed out, because I was like, What did we just do? Like, we've gone into debt? You know, we said we would never do that again. And yes, it's a beautiful home. Yes, it was safer to stay in Ontario, you know, oh, I think we're in now we made that offer. So, all night, I wasn't sleeping well. And, you know, my husband said he's okay, either way. I wasn't. And then the next day, we didn't hear back for quite some time. And we knew there was a problem. And there was there was a difficulty in the marriage of the people that were selling it. And anyway, long story short, you needed two signatures, and one person wasn't there. So the deal fell through. And then I said to myself, "Oh, I breathe." That was supposed to be our home and you're supposed to make this bigger leap. Moira then go to Nova Scotia go out of province. Yeah. And it just and I woke up after a nap after that. And felt "Oh, yes. Thank you." You know, that's that trusting and allowing and surrendering and really knowing once you've asked what you want, so quite the journey and yeah, the magic of life.
And you also mentioned that that happened after a nap.
So nap, rest at a time when you need it. And also, when we're napping, when we're meditating when we're doing activities, like yoga nidra, or when we're sleeping, our brain is actually excuse me, our brain is, is actually accessing super centers of the nervous system that are responsible for clarity. And this is why this is why you know that old adage of, you know, if you have a big decision to make, no, I know, when I was growing up, I was always told, oh, you know, don't worry about it. Just sleep on it. Yes. wisdom comes from that knowledge, that innate knowing that when we sleep, there's a part of ourselves a part of our brain that switches on and helps with clarity, and with decision making and with problem solving.
And yes, that's excellent to know. And I am a meditator, I am a napper at times. We all have different rhythms in my family, times we sleep and we all honor it, because it's not "Oh you sleep in, or you don't sleep in or you're a morning person." It's just, it's whatever your body is, and and honoring the other people. What that is for them. Do you have an exercise to let go of the past, you know, for people to release that emotional burdens they have or the baggage from the past? Because you're talking about the, you know, the deeper level of the mind. So yes, can feel lighter in that. Is there an exercise you have for that.
Yes, so I am a huge fan of hypnosis and hypnotherapy in order to let go of things from the past Moira. Because your subconscious because hypnosis and hypnotherapy, work with the subconscious mind, right?
Just mind, the subconscious mind is the storehouse, or if you will, or if you want to think of it kind of like that, like an archive. And bang, of all of your past experiences, emotions, thought processes, life events, memories, also your values, your phobias, your needs, your wants, all of that is stored in your subconscious mind. A big fan and a big advocate of letting go of emotions and memories, events from the subconscious level. Because if you only do that at a conscious level, we won't be able to access the freedom from that that we want, and it will become too much of a laborious event. This is why this is why talk therapy isn't always successful or unsuccessful, rapidly successful. And as many of us would like it to be when we're dealing with these chronic conditions of burnout and chronic conditions that come from unregulated stress responses. Because what this regulates our stress response, other than not taking time to reset is also not dealing with emotional negative, overwhelming negative emotions from the past.
And I know, I know that if you don't deal with the past or problems you have, it will come to you in some other form. It might look different. You have to work with your stuff.
100% I just want to I just want to share with you a story in my own life and my own journey because you asked earlier about my theory of transformation. So, um, and it relates to letting go of the past and you know, us not really knowing what it is that's limiting us. So after that course, and I was so petrified. And I actually Moira I hid that from everyone around me. Because I couldn't explain it to anyone, let alone myself. Mm hmm. No, you know, how the body you know, how the body and the nervous work, you know, they're always working, always working for your healing and for resolve for self resolution. So things continued to get worse. And so I the dizziness, and the fainting spells continued. So I would be at work and I would pass out. I would be working out and know that eventually, eventually, I had to face the possibility that the reality that something was not right. And so I started going to doctors, and when I went to the doctors, I was convinced that there was something neurological to explain these blackouts, and these fainting spells, right. But then test after test after test after test was coming back negative. And after about, you know, five, five rounds of doctor's visit for the fifth doctor, and the doctor comes into the office, and he says, "Oh, Faye I have some really good news for you." And I'm like, my heart was pounding. And I was so elated more, because I thought he was going to tell me, give me a diagnosis. Yes, and medical diagnosis that I could then go for and go forward. I was doing back then 16 years ago. And so he came back and he said, there's nothing wrong, all your tests are negative. I burst into tears. But it was the type of tears where it was like sobbing from the heart and like drooling and it's like the "Oh doctor, how could it be if there's nothing wrong with me? Why am I not feeling Okay, with that?" That was a message. That was the question that kept that framed my, my thought process then and then and then started my inquiry into what it means to be well, because his diagnosis was depression and PTSD. And I totally dismissed both of the diagnoses. Because I mean, I get I think I was looking for a quick fix back then. And also, I said to him, "Well, nothing traumatic has ever happened to me, how can I, you know, have PTSD and depression, I can't be depressed because I'm positive and cheerful." Because I was, I was wearing a lot of masks back then. Eventually, eventually, I realized that potentially, potentially, the way that I feel on the inside my psychology could be affecting my physiology. So his recommendation was antidepressants and talk therapy, though I refused antidepressants right off the bat, because I, I wanted a solution that was natural and fast and effective. And that worked, and that it had no side effects. And intuitively, I knew and I felt that the medication wasn't going to tick those boxes. And the talk therapy, I thought, you know, there's some merits in exploring this, because yes, there could be something psychologically, that's creating a feeling of un-wellness. Moira, I went to two sessions of talk therapy, and I never returned, because I felt worse after each and every single one, going and talk going round and round and round talking about my life and everything that's wrong with it, and everything that happened to all my negative emotions, without resolving it, really resolving it. It just really traumatized me, and I did not like it.
I also have interviewed some wonderful guests who have had similar experiences where they went to this talk therapy and you know, they shared and, and then they more or less, just jumped right in. I'm not saying this is I'm not judging this at all. Because in some cases, maybe it's okay. So I'm just saying, in their case, they were right away, told, you know, this is you this is what you have in a little different and you know, and we're gonna put you on these drugs for the rest of your life. That's the answer. And that, you know, that's that's a big thing to say somebody. I'm more of a natural person clip and I've always done our health naturally, but there's a place there's definitely a place for medical, you know, and doctors. Again, I told you he went through cancer last year and a heart attack. He had the best best doctors and the staff and everyone Well, that's not natural, you need a doctor for that. So there's a place balance for everything and to. And yes, somebody tells you something, it's a very personal thing. Maybe someone says, that will help them they go on, you know, anti depressants or, you know, depression things. Again, I've heard that side of the story. But the other one I've heard it's not. So it's a very, it's a very personal healing journey.
Yes, I totally agree with you. And and it has to feel right, whatever you do, and it just didn't feel right for me back then. And that's, that's what started. That's what put me on this inquiry into what does it take to be well? Because I didn't want to, I didn't take up them at that medical establishment on their, on their prescription. So it meant if I wanted to be well, I had to figure it out for myself. And now what started this inquiry that eventually culminated in a system that I now use with professionals that I work with who are burnt out and suffer from all these chronic conditions. But just coming back to the subconscious, so this, I was 36 when that happened. So fast forward, and things slowly started to get better. As I started learning, and applying different wellness techniques, and different wellness practices, and the most, the most immediate thing was the dizziness and the thing that was the most immediate thing that I needed that I wanted help with and, and that I needed to resolve. Fast forward to the time that I turned 40. At this point, I was living in Dubai. I got offered a job as a teacher trainer at one of the universities there, which is where I met my Kiwi husband, by the way,
Oh in Dubai?
Office work to me, and my second burnout manifested the cancerous cells. That was the biggest that I really had to stop and in a different way than I had when I was in Curacao four years earlier.
That's called a wake up call. Right?
Because that summer, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and my paternal aunt passed away from cancer. So I knew there was a part of me that knew that if I didn't course correct in a radical way, the outcome would not be consistent with the way I want to live my life, which is to be healthy and well. And so at that point, I was digging into finding out how to let go of the past. So just relating back to your question, "How do you let go of the past?" And everywhere I went, the subconscious mind kept coming up that you have to clear these things from this level of the subconscious. So I booked in with a hypnotherapist in order to Moira are still there?
I am. You're cutting out a little bit Faye. I don't know on your side.
Are you can you hear me?
I can. There's some cut up. So sorry, to the listeners. We are New Zealand to Canada. So there's a little bit of a cutout going on.
But there was that? Yeah, there was something there was something funky that happened even here with electricity, but it's okay now. And so so I went I went to the hypnotherapist and the therapist at that time did what I now do for my clients, which is instruct the subconscious mind to go back to the very first time that was responsible for all of the troubles and conflicts in my life as an adult. And the mind is very compliant Moira. It will do exactly what we asked it to. Exactly because it's there to serve us. So I went back to the time that I was five years old. And we were fleeing the war zone in Lebanon. And my father wasn't with us because my father in the lead up to the war had been kidnapped three times. The last time he was kidnapped, he was in captivity for over a week. He was kidnapped with 39 other people, and they assassinated 36 people.
That would be terrifying, terrifying.
Horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible. So when things were getting really bad with the war, he could not return to the country. So we left the war without him. So here's my mom with three young children. I'm five. My little brother is three my little sister is a year and a half and we're fleeing a war zone. And somehow my mom was told that it's good to leave within a certain window in the middle of the night and about 10 minutes into the journey, the shelling started. So there were bombs starting to fall in the distance. There was a shell fire overhead, but my mom in an attempt to keep us kids safe to push our heads underneath the seats of the car. Now, in that moment, my nervous system, that nervous system of the five year old went into panic mode went into overwhelm and fear mode, and the five year old couldn't breathe. And when I and that is what my subconscious mind revealed as being the root cause of the imbalances that were limiting me in my adult life, in my health, in my career, and in my relationships, when I came out of that hypnosis session, I totally dismissed that as bullshit. Because I was thinking to myself, how could something that happened when I was five have any bearing on my health, my career and my relationships as a 40 year old?
So you didn't go on a major educational journey? I know that it's part of my work. But I think that, like you said, like, no, let's
Moira just because you're not aware of something that's there, that's unresolved, it doesn't mean that it's not there. And it doesn't mean that it's not imbalancing your life and your nervous system. And, and, and there is no way I could have accessed that through conscious talk therapies, it needed to be done and cleared in the part of the mind where this memory is stored and where it's creating the imbalances.
Well, that's, that's, that's, that's wonderful. In my work, I do work called conscious core transformation. And I'm also an empath, and an intuitive so I see spirit and they come in now I talk to them, and whoever comes in
and the person the healing age shows up, because they show up as that that age and, you know, oh, you look like you're four or five, or whatever it is. So the information is given to me that way. But it's also like you said before, language is very powerful in CCT work, in a sense that what people are saying they don't really, they're not conscious of what they're saying, let alone thinking. And to, with whatever they're saying, there's a there's a counterpart to it. You know, there's over here, this is what you're saying, and then what is the opposite to it. So there's a clarity and a whole learning through that to heal at a very core level. This has been wonderful today. And, and again, to my listeners, there's was some cut out. But you know what this is we transcribe every show, I take extra time to do that. So if you didn't hear something from Faye, go on over to the transcription and also read it. Faye can you briefly share with us, you know, the special gift an offer that you'd like to give to our listeners and community today. And these links are below in the show notes. I say that every week, so people can go there to get the links. Thank you.
Yeah, what's pleasure, Moira. And so I would love to share with your listeners an audio download, to help you check in with yourself. So that's that practice I was sharing earlier, that is a fundamental in my life on a daily basis to keep me connected to myself and to care for my nervous system. It's a very simple 10 minute while the audio is 10 minutes, but after after some time of doing it with the aid of the audio, it will become an automated part of your routine where you won't need the audio anymore, but it's a good place to start and it's about a 10 minute audio. Help you really in with yourself and start the day with a feeling of grounding yourself before you meet the world. I would also love to offer your listeners and your community at 15% discount on a private typical coaching session for internal conflict resolution, where we work on resolving the internal conflict at the level of the nervous system and the subconscious mind using my proprietary system.
This is all done online. So wherever you are in the world, you can do this work.
Isn't that wonderful? We can reach out to people all over the world. Faye thank you for sharing from your heart and soul your wisdom on how to reclaim the magical quality of your life now. Namaste.
Such a pleasure, Moira. You're welcome.