Unlock your Beautiful - Live your BlueSky's Life

Intro  0:03  
Welcome to the Heart Soul Wisdom podcast, a journey of self discovery and transformation. Moira Sutton and her amazing guests share real life stories, tools and strategies to inspire and empower you to create and live your best life. Come along on the journey and finally blast through any fears, obstacles and challenges that have held you back in the past so you can live your life with the joy, passion and happiness that you desire. Now, here's your Host Create the Life You Love, Empowerment Life Coach Moira Sutton

Moira  1:00  
Welcome to season two, Episode 37. 'Unlock Your Beautiful - Live Your Blue Sky's Life' with CEO of Blue Sky's Life, Kristina Shea. Kristina's life story is one of resilience. She has been widowed twice and experienced crushing personal and financial loss while raising her daughter as a single mother. She has experienced debilitating health conditions resulting from corporate burnout. After 20 years of corporate America she turned her focus to build her own inclusive lifestyle wellness company 'Blue Sky's Life'. What a great name. A purpose led and holistic lifestyle wellness company designed to help you renew and recharge your body, mind and soul. She's also an advocate, speaker and educator for medical cannabis to support women's health. She holds a 'Science of Cannabis' diploma from McMaster University, has spoken on international panels throughout Canada and in the Caribbean - which is close to my heart, the Caribbean - helping to educate doctors and researchers on plant medicine. Kristina is passionate really about life and about driving positive change for women globally, socially and professionally. She is launching a content platform called 'Making Her Story'. She feels everyone has a story of resilience. This will be a creative support space for women to share, elevate, inspire, connect, and empower women. So without further ado, I'm so excited. I would like to introduce you to Kristina Shea. Welcome, Kristina.

Kristina  2:33  
Thank you so much, Moira. I am so honored to be here and having a delightful conversation about life and, and all that goes into it. So thank you for having me.

Moira  2:43  
You're welcome. I'm so thrilled I met you when I first went to your site. Wow, it's so beautiful. It's a it's it's, oh, I just felt it easy to go into your site, which people will have this connection, you know, the blueskys.com or that. I have all those links at the end of this conversation. But it's just you have beautiful, like, we're going to talk about how you know, just enjoying life, our home, our body, our mind, our soul and our home. And so, but let's just start. You do have quite the story; your personal journey and story like, you know, with your health and well being, widowed twice. And then, you know, you have personal financial crises and you're raising your daughter alone. You know, how old were you? And how did you get through all that? Like, what was the first part of this? Because I know that that will inspire, empower our listeners. So take the lead. And there you go.  

Kristina  3:38  
Thank you. I always like sometimes people that you know, it's when I share this story, I can either overwhelm people, or inspire. But I really do hope that it does inspire because it's not just about telling my story. It's about really touching people. And everybody, as I said, has a story of some kind. And maybe that you know, they can take some words of wisdom from whatever I've experienced, and hopefully not maybe go down some of the hurt and the anguish I did even if you do have, you know challenges. So really to go back in time, I was really young when I got married like a lot of women in our generation. I'm, I'm not afraid to say I'm turning 49 to September, and I'm proud of it. I'm proud of all the years that I have. I do have a few lines and so on. Sometimes you look in the mirror and you're like oh, you know, but you know, I've earned every single one of them. Probably not always in a good way. But I've learned a lot. So when I was 21 I got married and I'd met the man that I met when I was 15 actually, so years almost Yeah. So he was a bit older than me. He was like 20 when I married or not very so when he was 20 when I met him. So I got married at 21. And by the age of 24. I was widowed and suddenly and unexpectedly he was hit by a truck on a motorcycle. So we used to ride. I was not with him that day. I was actually at work, like I often have been most of my life. So I was you know, working on a Sunday and I was working for a corporation for one of the banks as an agency and I was doing some some work there. And I just remember receiving - I'm very intuitive, I don't even know how to describe it, I, I felt something was going to be wrong with this bike that he had bought. I don't want to go down that whole story too much, because, but I we had argued about it. And I wanted him to get rid of it. And it was a new bike. And it was just a gut feeling. And anyway, so I had, you know, gone to work a couple of days later, and I got a phone call on a Sunday from his, one of his friends, mothers, which I normally don't talk to it, I thought, I thought, Oh, hi, it's so wonderful. I'm thinking, why is she calling and I'm like, I know why she's calling me because John is dead. And it was just came like that. And I remember falling to the floor and just screaming. And there's nobody in this corporate building. It was, you know, a financial building here, where I live in Burlington, actually. And I just I know, it sounds really awful. But I mean, there was I think one person and they were probably wondering why I was screaming. And like agony, like it felt not because of my personal you know, personal anguish, really. And yeah, and I had identified at the hospital; I don't want to get into the situation, but it was not a pretty thing. Yeah. So I don't want to also trigger anyone. I'm very conscious of that. So but it was the one thing I'll say out of that, you know, because I really do believe in organ donation, unfortunately, could not do much with that, except for his beautiful blue eyes. And he was Italian. And so his eyes gave some other young men sight. So I always like to try to find there's some purpose in that. I'm going to get a little teary thinking about it. But some young man has, or he's maybe not so young now, but has sight because of john. So that's kind of how I look at it. And I hope that somehow, maybe you can see through his eyes as well as the world. And so that's sort of how I frame that. But I was I, you know, I didn't have anything. I could talk about financials and all that. But I didn't have anything in my name. So you can imagine no will, nothing in my name. Yeah, I was very young, I had to move out of my condo at the time, and I couldn't even  talk with people just were throwing some, you know, I would say acquaintance friends at that time. Because really, they were his friends. Because it's one lesson I also learned as a woman, never, ever let your friends go to the side and don't live your life. And even though he was a wonderful man, in many ways, I was living my life through his friends and his world and his lens. And so when he passed away, I didn't have, I don't even know who I was. I remember looking in the mirror. And it was quite a journey from there. But I remember actually lying on the grass after outside my condo in a very kind of urban area. And I didn't, you know, I had to move. So that was done. And I was trying to figure out where I'm going to go because I really didn't want to go back to my parents. And I don't want to get into that whole story because that's a whole other side story. So but I was looking at the sky, and it was a blue beautiful day. It was probably I think around June and maybe the month of June. He died April 6, but you know, I had to get out and I couldn't afford to stay there. And there was other situations underlying that. But I just remember looking at the blue skies thinking, it'll be okay. It'll be okay. It's a beautiful day. And I hope you can see this beautiful day. And that I had mantra about the blue skies and blue skys life. I've carried that with me since that day. So that's kind of and then I spelled blue skys with a y, which I will talk about a little bit later. But that why everybody has a why. I didn't even know this was a trending thing. You know, Simon Sinek, I think is how you pronounce it. I'm not sure if that's because you know, but he always says, you know, starting with your why, everybody has a why you might and that why might change. But for me, that has shifted throughout the years. But having that way and that purpose behind everything you do is very important. So people often say well, why is Blue Skys spelled with a Y. It's plural Blue Skys life. And it's not spelled incorrectly. I do know how to spell. I did go to school. But it's about with a why because it is all about your why. So that's a little bit about my first husband. I don't know if you want to continue, continue. Next stage. There

Moira  9:03  
But what you were you saying, what I really like the people to listen to is what you're saying about the big Why? And really, I didn't even see it the other way. I know that when I when we talked originally that I liked the way it spelled like that. I like the way it looks, even if like you're saying from spelling, but you know, I was talking about definitely "What is your big why?", and mine was spelled w h y. But I had a whole program around that because that's what's holds you, you know, your your vision, your mission, how you're about going, you know, taking steps every day, are you aligned with your values? You know, be on focus with what is the bigger picture. And I would say about you know, let go the how doesn't mean you just sit around and expect the universe to tell you what to do but it means taking action and knowing that each day this taking me to the step I'm doing or what I'm doing to the bigger picture. What I want to create. And that's part of the show and making people like yourself that you know people who are out there really Inspiring, elevating women, you know, empowering them to really go and create the life they love. That's my brand, create the life you love on your terms, which was important to me not to do it like Suzanne or Joe over there. Do it as Kristina. Do it as Moira. So definitely that whole thing about keeping your big why blue skys? I know today, just before we were going to record our neighbor, they had the people come in to mow their lawn. I said, Oh, no. And then I looked up at the sky. And I went No, think of Kristina. There'll be a finished. There'll be finished shortly. We won't hear them and we don't they finished. So yes. So you had that path. And then you you remarried and you remarried somebody older, and and then, you know, you have your daughter, and now he passes and then that whole area like how did you when he passed, how did you, because you said it was one of the hardest things, share that with your daughter? How? Because that's a that's a moment. very sacred, and how to do that and the wisdom that you gained? Yes. How did you do that? And, and for other people who might have similar or family or friends that have this experience in our community. You know, we have a lot going on in the world right now. And, you know, I do meditation everyday slash prayer and sending out to people who are struggling, you know, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and in communities that are going through different struggles and challenges. So how did you do that with your daughter? Through that challenge?

Kristina  11:39  
Um, that's a that's a really great question. I apologize. I think there was a Dane here. Let me close my windows here. Sorry. I don't know if he can edit that.

Moira  11:51  
I've had guests who have their dogs outside barking or beautiful Sheva Carr is a guest. I've had her on many times. She's with the Heart Math Institute. I don't know if you know, it's it's close to my heart to get her message out in that company. 

Kristina  12:12  
I'd love to learn about that.   

Moira  12:13  
Yeah, yeah, that whole thing. And her husband was speaking doing an interview in another room. And like, there was lots going on. We just went with it like people know... 

Kristina  12:25  
It's called life. And I think the hashtag Ping, Pingdemic is trending right now. But anyway, I turned hopefully, all the pings off. So the question was about. So how i did i tell her? I mean, I don't know if there's any right or wrong way for this to be quite frank. It was it was I remember. You know, I know he was she, she won't listen to this. But he actually passed away on Valentine's Day, which I've never actually told her that. But so it cause at that point, I did marry an older man, and I don't, I don't want to go down all that rabbit hole about him, per se. He was a good man at heart. But he had his issues. Let's just put it that way.  Yes, yes, his demons and we all have them to some extent. But sometimes some people just for whatever reason, you know, they take over their soul. And it's, it's very sad. And I will always always love him and have a special place in my heart. And I love a lot of people. Because of all the things that went down in our marriage, a lot of people didn't understand. And it was almost, it was really weird. No matter what you do as a widow - it seems like I'm getting all teary eyed. They judge you. And so you kind of have to turn that off. It's very hard. And I think any, especially any young widow, like anything, you know, under 65, I think you are, you don't grieve enough or you grieve too much or you're not being you know, sensitive to your daughter or you're not your child, or you shouldn't be doing it shouldn't be doing that. And it was ironic because we'd had some very difficult challenges in our marriage. And we'd actually parted ways and we we weren't divorced, but we were not living together. And at that point in time, because of his issues, to be quite honest. And it wasn't healthy for for me or my daughter at that point in time, but he was working on them. So he died very unexpectedly, which is I'll just leave it there. And it just broke my heart but people couldn't understand that feeling just gonna put it out there. I put on his gravestone 'beloved husband', and you know, he'll always - I'm gonna get teary but - and even my own friends. I just they actually blasted me for putting this. I'm like, you know, these are my feelings. And it's not just about grief. But I think because if you haven't gone through it, or or people just don't understand it. So they meet sometimes they mean well, sometimes they don't. But it's it's just you have to own your own grief. And I actually had to somehow put that all aside, and it was really hard but wonderful. When I first found out of course, it was like the same thing as like you just fall to the floor. It was rather similar to the same experience. I wasn't expecting that. He was actually doing quite well and I was very proud of him because he seemed like he was doing well emotionally and you know that some of the addictions in his life. But it just came unexpectedly. And so I had, you know, especially the day like that, which meant, you know, it's a it's a day of love, right? So it was quite hard to digest. We actually found out a couple days later because that's when he was found, but to really speak to that, so I was like, Oh my god, the first thing that came to my mind was how am I going to tell my daughter that her father will never be able to visit her see her never coming home really, like, permanently This is not, you know, a temporary thing, like, you know, he sees her you know, every other day or stuff like that. He was such a good father to her I have to say, always there for her. And always there for me to be quite frank, he was always the man if I called, if I needed help, like something wrong with my car, or like, he was the guy I call. So, but I just thought, okay, she was at the school. I had to pick her up. I honestly did not I had gathered my my mother. Not that particularly, she would know what to do. And that's it. I don't think anybody knew what to do. I just knew that I needed somebody around me. But at the end of the day, it was really me that held it all together. I just basically picked her up from school. She'd already been having some issues with anxiety. And she's she champions this so I can talk about, I don't go into her own, you know, issues. But so it was really difficult so I just basically sat on the couch and I hugged her. And of course, she says she's she's very intuitive. Why did you pull me out of school? And why are you hugging me on the couch? Right. You know, and of course, it was just, it was devastating. It's there's no easy way. There's no sugarcoating. I mean, you word it in such a way that you can, I don't even remember what I said. But basically, you know that her father will always love her, and that he's always here with us, but he will never be physically here with us in the same way. But he'll always be with you and in your heart. And he'll be always there for you. And he's, I still say that to this day. And it's still an ongoing, sorry, I'm getting all like stuffy. I'm not a pretty crier.

You know, sometimes, you know, and, you know, the thing is, like, throughout the last few years, because it was 2016 he passed, like I really did focus on her. And it's been an ongoing process for me since then, to kind of deal with my own emotions, because I've been very, very focused on making sure that she's okay. But yeah, it was difficult. And it still continues to be you know, but she's a very strong, resilient young lady. And I'm very, very proud of her. She's gone through her own journey until lose her father and I lost my father in the same year, which was kind of ironic. Just before Christmas. So both time of a family and you know, normally celebration and love, and we both lost our fathers. But, you know, obviously, my father was much older, and I was older, but I can't imagine, you know, losing what she has to go through. And so yes, I had to raise her and I was financially raising her anyways, on my own in, you know, I won't go down all that too. But for many years, and regardless, but now, went totally on my own, I don't really have family support in the way people would think you know, you would in that situation. And I just, you know, kept my chin up and actually was going to McMaster University, very different course, actually have a plethora of diplomas and degrees, but, and Business Administration, and I remember them telling me, you know, if you want to - because this was my last course they told me, if you want to, you know, come back to it later you can. I said, No, this is my last course. And I know, you know, even despite all our differences, I know that Mike would want me to finish this. And not only did I finish it, I actually, I wasn't trying to become, you know, the top of you know, graduate but I became I actually had the highest GPA and I was awarded on stage and here I was I in my 40s getting, you know, finally a degree at McMaster for my business administration and marketing and -e-commerce and for my, like I was I'd gone to college and all that before, but it was quite an accomplishment for me. And I felt like he was there on stage. And my daughter was very proud of me too. So it gave me some solace, I suppose, because I felt he was there. And yeah, with my daughter, I it's been Yeah, it's been a journey because she actually ended up in Nova Scotia, where you will be moving. 

Moira  19:11  
Yeah that's right,  two weeks.

Kristina  19:14  
Yeah, I said that, you know, I think it's a place like I she went to grade 11/12 to a beautiful school there called King's-Edgehill, but I liked it cuz there was sense of tradition. And also in Nova Scotia, there is I feel a little bit more of a ease of pace, like it's not so you know, rushed here. Yeah, it's not Toronto. We're just outside Toronto, but it's not like that. And I was trying to keep my job at the time. And it was a very difficult situation that I was in. Because there was some, you know, layoffs and things going on, which eventually I did leave that company. But financially, it was just, you know, challenging. You're just paying for a funeral and you're not expecting that and, you know, and then I put my daughter into private school because I felt that was the best support and I did receive a lot of judgment on that too, but you have to listen to your heart and I think that is one of the hardest things in your, you know, your your podcasts and business hearts. So so I'm so I'm sorry, I'm getting it all mixed up.

Moira  20:08  
So Heart Soul Wisdom.

Kristina  20:10  
I didn't have it right. Okay. Yeah. All right. So wisdom, and you have to listen to your heart because your soul will give you the wisdom. That's how I look at it. And I knew intuitively that I was I was not able to totally facilitate everything I was starting to lose, you know, lose her because I felt like she needed more support than I could give her. And I was still there for her in every which way. And she was never forced to go to the school. But it was something I knew that she needed. And she made that choice willing to go, and it was a place of healing for her. Although, definitely not easy for her but being in a place where there's the ocean, there is a slower pace. Yes, there was very much you know, a supervillain agenda and schedule Yeah, but it was also healing. And it gave her a sense of structure, but also a sense of fluidity because of the ocean. And, you know, just the nature and being in nature. And you know, in a smaller environment is smaller school because the school she was here was quite large and a totally different culture and to be part of another culture within Canada because to me, Nova Scotia and out east is a totally different I want to return now she wants to actually go live there. She's in Ottawa. Now she wants to raise her children there, and she wants her children to go to that school. 

Moira  21:18  
Wonderful. 

Kristina  21:19  
I know I did something. Right.

Moira  21:21  
Right, and what you said with grieving, grieving is a very, very personal journey. You know, I know, my best girlfriend, she lost her father many, many years ago, and her mother's still grieves. And she, you know, they held hands all the time, and very, very close. And so it's it's not something for to look outside for advice for that. It's just to really just listen to someone be with them. You know, I lost my brother to cancer two years ago. Now, I'm an intuitive an empath. So I also speak to nature, I speak to animals, I speak to people who have passed on. 

Kristina  21:59  
Tha's beautiful. 

Moira  21:59  
Yeah, and as a Reiki Master, and that I've done that many years, and I've seen and talk to spirits since I was a little girl that's comes from my dad's side. But, you know, with my brother, literally, the day that we he passed, I went downstairs to talk to my mom. And you know, she started, of course, she was crying and upset. And then, as we she started talking about some funny times with Struther when he was alive, and my dad, and as soon as she said that they both popped in the room. And I said, Mom, they're both sitting there right at your kitchen table. And they're saying, 

Kristina  22:33  
Oh Wow!

Moira  22:33  
Yeah and I said, They're, they're saying to you, that's what they want you to do. They don't want you to be sad, but they're passing course you miss someone, I miss him at times, or he'll pop in I go, Hey, Struther and, you know, so I know the soul goes on. And that's just that's part of my work, you know, working with that. And it's funny because I we have a beautiful willow tree behind us. And the willow tree represents inner vision dreams, magic and healing. And that trees been there for a lot of challenges, and that we've gone through that living here for six years. And now the like you're saying the ocean and the lakes and the water and the new way of being down there. You know, it's calling us there. And I have already spoken to the trees and that around the plants, like around our place. And I said, I think I should start teaching us or writing this because it's coming to me differently than here. So it's it's kind of exciting. It's exciting. And definitely like you're saying too lifestyle because Cliff, my soulmate of 30 years married in the fall, you know, he went through cancer last year and heart surgery. So we've really started that all those things in your journey, it gets your attention to stop and say what's important here that really, and lifestyle is your whole being and to really look at your lifestyle. What's important, I think this pandemic has allowed a lot of people for some people to stop, you know, not keep going and to reconnect on another level. And that's what you had you have the universe nudging you, you know, during this to, you know, finding your passion Blue Sky's Life, which is a beautiful brand. I love it, Kristina. 

Kristina  24:12  
Oh, thank you. 

Moira  24:13  
Yeah, I love that you did this. You know, you have the science of cannabis diploma from McMaster also along with your marketing and e commerce. You know, I wish they had that when I was at university I think those kinds of things, not just maybe cannabis, but all these interesting areas that you can choose to go and you know, learn through and this has been part of your journey. So let's first talk about your journey with cannabis. And then how does cannabis, you know, support and help a woman's well being their mental state their health and your story with that? Because a lot of people will notice.

Kristina  24:47  
It's a great question. I mean, Canada has been a leader in legalization. And actually to your question about well, this is a cannabis the degree in cannabis. That was the first time I believe and accredited University in Canada was offering the course. So I was like, I guess, the first one of the first graduates, definitely the first graduates in that class. And it's a really great course. And it really gives you not only the science, but also research mythology to really understand, because there's a lot of claims about cannabis as being I'm never going to propose that it's a miracle plant, so to speak. But what I do say is, you really need to go back, we need to go back to the roots of our ancient, you know, forefathers, and cannabis was one of those plants. And it's not just cannabis, but there's many plants, but cannabis is, to me, it is a healing plant. And I'll tell you a little bit about my story. So, which goes back to the corporate burnout. And I feel like sometimes, as you said, the universe gives you messages. I think the universe keeps slapping me about because I'm like, it's like, wake up, Kristina. "Yeah", um, you know, cuz I'm, like, you know, exam like, Okay, I have to keep my house I have to work like, because, you know, it was a lot of financial problems, would you say? So I was like, you know, working, working, working, and also my definition of success. What I was, you know, a lot of, especially our generation was like, you know, you need a promotion need to make X amount. It wasn't so much about, you know, a fancy house, I just wanted to keep my house. So I could have, you know, my daughter have a good home. And, and that's really what I was everything I did, even though maybe she didn't see it that way at the time. I was doing mostly for my daughter, and also maybe some affirmations of what I thought success. And maybe I wanted my mother who never really gave me approval. And my father about, you know, of applause. You know, I mean, they never said what they were proud of me anyway. No, so But I,

Moira  26:30  
I want to ask you that really? Just quickly, sorry. But, you know, that's something again, I want to listeners to hear. So if you felt your parents and this was your experience, how you experienced this, they didn't give you approval? Do you think that's why you like you work hard. I, you know, when I researched you, you worked, you worked a lot of hours in that corporate world. Do you think you were still searching for that outside of yourself to get that approval?

Kristina  26:54  
Definitely, I think so. Definitely. And then we're also when I'm passionate, and I do go all in when I was working like life science and cannabis, public space, which I did for during pre like legalization, and legalization, I definitely put my whole heart into it too. And then I started going back to you can be get addicted to .. I mean now I'm studying coming, I'm definitely working hard. But you can be addicted to that pace. It keeps your mind sometimes from actually focusing on maybe things you need to heal. And you're right, totally right about, I wanted to before I always wanted approval and from and I would tell them what I'm doing. But they would just kind of really dismiss it, especially my mother, dismiss it. And then she would actually talk to my brothers and what they were doing. So no matter what I did, so then I came to the conclusion, just really, and during the pandemic, I'm like, you know, I don't need you know, I'm hopefully they do and my dad's passed on, yeah, but maybe they are maybe they are not, I don't know, but at the end of the day, you have to be proud to do things for yourself. And it becomes a never ending pursuit. It's like people saying, I want to be happy, like, Well, you know, the way to be happy is, you know, it's, first of all, it's not like continuum. It's, it's it is, you know, stages, and really like moments of joy, as I call it, but at the end of the day, you have to do things for yourself, that makes your heart sing and like, makes you happy. And it's never gonna be perfect, but you can't do it for other people, whether it's your parents, or your spouse, or whoever and, and maybe redefine, especially the pandemic redefine what success means to you. Obviously, we all have to have, you know, money in our bank accounts to pay our bills. And as most entrepreneurs, it can be a little stressful, especially when you're starting out. But at the end of the day, you really have to do what makes you feel fulfilled and happy. And if you're working for a company that is not aligned with your core values, which is what was really causing me such just probably grief at points in my life, and various corporations. That really would hurt my soul. I don't even know how to say it would hurt my soul because I felt like I wasn't having any impact of a positive nature and, and you know, when you need to decide or that you really want to follow your core values. I think that's a turning point that goes back to your why. And nothing's always perfect. But at the end of day, if something goes extremely against your core values, it's just it's not fulfilling and it's also not going to make you feel successful at the end of the day. So yes, I did work myself literally almost to death. And I collapsed in the financial district a few years ago. And and you know, as I said, I kind of get smacked about gobsmacked I guess, by the universe.

Moira  29:21  
It's gets your attention, right? 

Kristina  29:23  
Yeah, I said yes.

Moira  29:25  
Hey Kristina, we are talking to you!

Kristina  29:27  
Yes. Yeah. And I sometimes I think, Okay, now we're gonna throw a brick at her, maybe she'll get it that. So, you know, I was like, you know, you know, we're doing my fitness and my, you know, like, I call it like, now you know, it's like, it's not just about We will live in and drinking from your swell bottle. And that's not what wellness is. It's really becoming aware, self aware and really trying nothing that's totally balanced. I mean, people talk about balance, but integrating it into your life. So it's it's more healthy, but I actually collapsed and I was rushed to the hospital. I had been experiencing debilitating migraines for quite many years and it was progressing-ing getting worse. And I always attributed everything that was wrong in my life, quote, unquote, to stress. 

Moira  30:05  
Well, yes Stress can kill you.

Kristina  30:08  
Exactly. Like, you know, I was like, okay, stress, who cares, keep going, keep going, keep going, just ignore it, don't listen to it. And you know, and I would exist off three hours sleep for years and years news, and totally not healthy. So I actually came face to floor. And I share people's kind of screaming because I don't remember cuz I was in and out of consciousness. And I was then taken to the hospital, did a whole bunch of CAT scans, and I couldn't see for about almost 36 hours I was blacked out.

Moira  30:35  
That would be scary. 

Kristina  30:37  
It's scary, especially because I'm a visual creative, but I think scary regardless. So, 

Moira  30:42  
I don't think that's the word for it. It's - terrifying.  

Kristina  30:45  
It was terrifying. It's terrifying. And I was thinking, is this permanent. But you know, I had known throughout my, you know, experiences before with migraines that sometimes I get those wavy lines, or I couldn't see properly. So I was, in my back of my mind, I was thinking this will pass this will pass this will pass, but it was still scary. And so I went through CAT scans, and then they put me through, you know, so they, they first told me I had brain cancer, which it runs in my family. So it kind of, you know, again, you know, the universe smacks you out. But then they discovered I had a brain cyst. So that was much less serious. But at the end of the day, it was still causing me a lot of problems with really pain, really migraines, and pressure.

Moira  31:24  
And they stopped. So migraines, I don't have them, but my mother had it for years, and then they stopped. But I have clients that have had migraines, and it literally stops you, you have to go quiet somewhere. And it's another way to just stop you.

Kristina  31:36  
It puts you yeah, it puts you on like just stopped your life. And you know, I would take a plethora of pain medication to deal with it. Because at that time, it wasn't to me an option to have surgery, I was self employed. And there was a risk that was they were saying that there was a risk if I do this, and this point, I'm a single mom raising. I mean when when her husband, her dad was still alive at that point in time, but he wasn't capable or competent to raise her. So I was like, Well, how am I gonna do that? Right? I had a you know, a consulting business. This is not going to work and I cannot afford to lose my site or just the whole thing. So I was like, Okay, I'm going to just go through this right, I'm going to muscle through it. Like everything I would did in my life. I'm just gonna bulldoze through it, it's going to be okay. So I had to take a lot of pain medications, which I became very addicted to. That's hard to get through my day. But then when I come home, I was not an ideal Mother, I'm sure I know. I was, you know, thin. My patience were thin. I was in pain. And sometimes I did have to put literally ice packs, I would even put a cloth or put ice pack on my head and go in a dark room and you know, order takeout or do something or whatever. And I was just terrible. And one day I had a friend of mine, she came over and she's helping me because I just was at that point. I just needed help. And she came over and she goes What are you doing with your life? Right? She goes, you need to try something different I was feeling sorry for myself. I'm like, I've tried everything and like just get off my case. You know, a little defensive and definitely. So then she she said why don't you try cannabis and I looked at her like she had a you know, I'm like What? I said I don't do drugs. What are you like what kind of mother would you I am and then she looked at me like I had like What's wrong with you? She looked at the bedside table and she goes you do drugs? Like what what are all these things on the side of the table? These are drugs. And then I thought about and I thought wow, she actually said that it's very, makes sense. It makes a lot of sense. So I tried it and it did work. Now I don't  judge people who smell great like that but because their father did smoke very heavily. Not cannabis but to clarify cigarettes. I did not want to smoke with my daughter. Not to mention it just wasn't my lifestyle. Like I was very much into the gym and stuff like that. It just wasn't something I was going to take up. But I didn't like the smell for me personally although now I've started to enjoy the terpenes but at that time so I became sort of using oils and I found not only did it help me with the pain. So I was using CBD oil but also one to one if I'm at work I could not use obviously a high level of THC you can't drive with that. Just to be clear here anybody who's trying oil do not drive it's like THC does have psychoactive effects to it and can you know if you're operating heavy machinery of any nature. But if you're using a one to one but primarily CBD during the day, which is non psychoactive, that kind of a dial versus the THC so CBD versus THC, and there's different ratios of and then there's the minor cannabinoids, which I won't get into a nerdy science here. So I was using the oils primarily. And that really helped me but also because I had so much anxiety going on and I think anxiety about having pain, like it was like oh my god, I'm gonna have pain. I'm gonna worry. That would actually set me off because I'm like, Oh my god, I have to deal with some day that was anxiety in itself. So yeah, so this really did help me not only an anxiety, but also with my pain level. It kept no more calm. I still do this. I feel like it also to me really does help balance you out a lot. In our immune system we have something called our endocannabinoid system, which is what you want to achieve is kind of like quote unquote balance in your body like we always talked about, but it's called homeostasis. And your Endocannabinoid is it's kind of like the control system. So you know something's going wrong over here in your body, then they're going to send you know receptors or the receptors are going to send signals to that portion of your body to you know, defend or to you know, correct the situation over here and over there. So it's kind of like to me like almost like your air control center. Like if you're in the airport, you know, like they're consistently monitoring what's going on who's coming in who's coming out, you know, if there's an accident or something like that. So to me the endocannabinoid system is really measuring and responding to anything that's going on in your system. And the cannabinoids themselves like they can they can attach to your CB one CB two receptors, which again, that's a whole science classes to do it. Yeah, so it's really about just regulating your body and help respond to things whether they're, you know, a sickness or an illness or pain, or anxiety. Anxiety is a real thing, or even corporate burnouts now have actually been, you know, by WHO, the World Health Organization, as, you know, a state of I wouldn't say disease, but it's a condition, which causes distress and stress, as it itself causes so many different ramifications in your health. So and it also can help with menopause, and mental. So the pain you know that a lot of women, you know, experience not every woman does, but with their hormones that can really help put things in check and help rebalance. So I do sometimes say, you know, I do feel like cannabis, and it should be a first resort, versus a last resort, because a lot of the things I experienced like being you know, painkillers, they're addictive. I'm not to say that cannabis cannot be just like anything, you know. You have to use things with some supervision and with some moderation of some level. But things like CBD, they can't harm you, nobody's died, specifically as a result of using CBD like directly or cannabis in itself. But you know, it's it's a great tool in your toolbox is what I say. And there's lots of other healthy alternatives that can be used with that with. You also want to make sure that if you are on medication of any nature that you do consult a medical practitioner. But it's a natural plant, which can be used to really rebalance and be integrated into your everyday life, just like you would take a vitamin C, perhaps. That's kind of how I cheat. Yeah, so I use CBD oil in general, if not every day, almost every every other day, but it really does help me relax. And if you use a one to one, it's really nice to see, because for me, I have post trauma. And it really does. And now I don't have nightmares like I used to, I can go to sleep in general, a lot easier. So I always have things racing through my mind as many women do, and mothers in particular, but especially you have, you know, a stressful job. I also would like to encourage anyone that has a really high stress job, maybe it's not where you should be because it's going to take a toll on your body at some point in your life/ But cannabis is I think something that, you know, every woman, especially, you know, if you're, you know, going through menopause, you should investigate because, instead of hormonal replacement. I have a dear friend and she she found that hormonal replacement, and I think it's HRT therapy really caused havoc with her entire system. But then she went to cannabis as a natural alternative, and it's totally changed her life. So not only from, you know, just anxiety and all that, but also with her hormone balances. So it's really helped her, I'm not saying it's a cure all and be all, but it can be complemented or mitigate or reduce for me reduce the use of painkillers or reduce the use of maybe HRT, or maybe completely, you know, there's no need for it. But I think there's everything in balance, and there's so many other beautiful plants are getting back to the roots and cannabis was used in ancient Chinese medicine. It was used in a lot of, you know, native medicine, so it has some true therapeutic benefits. And unfortunately, there was a lot of racial stigma that was attached to it, you know, in the 30s. And in America, which unfortunately then became racially driven, which I won't go into all of that and how to stigma in the pharma companies also have at stake. You know, in there, there was all sorts of political and financial gains, like why this plant was really

I would say scapegoated really at the end of the day, because you can look back and there has been so many different elixirs and things. I'm not saying they're all, you know, maybe totally therapeutic in nature, but most of them were meant and they were even Queen Victoria used cannabis for I believe, I can't remember was postpartum, but it was to do with their childbirth or her menstrual cramps. So that was  quite interesting to me when I found that

Moira  39:54  
Wow. Yeah, it wasn't around when I went through all those things. And I passed all that now. 

Kristina  40:00  
Also, well, that's good. Yes, yes, I'm kind of starting to be I'm not fully in menopause, but I'm starting to experience some of that. It's just a stage of life. And I think women should be valued instead of devalued. I don't want to get into that whole conversation. Because we are rich, we've created life, we give life and we are a plethora of wisdom, you know, that can be handed down. And just because we cannot bear children anymore, it's kind of ironic, because, you know, oh, it's that time of the month, you know. I'll just say the other, you know, people say that about a woman, and yet, then then now she's going through the change. Like, it doesn't matter where you are, for some reason, our mood is like, and our behavior is gauged on this and not in a positive light in a negative light. And I'm like, you know, we are women, we are strong, we are resilient, we give life and we should not be put down for that.

Moira  40:50  
Well, I also think that you know, what you said at the beginning, you know, I'm, I'm 62. It's a number as long as I have my health and well being, which is important to me. I eat nutritious foods. I'm going to be in Nova Scotia, so I'm going to be canoeing and kayaking, and hiking and, you know, look after myself every day. Because, you know, you know, you talked about self love, which is part of your products that you offer to and it's literally part of, you know, the title of my book, which is, 'The Universe is Calling You: an inward sacred journey to your heart, soul and self love", because that's where it starts. So that whole thing to love yourself and celebrate every year of your life, you're not going to look like you did at 20. You know, I looked at myself the other day, I was, I don't know what going past the mirror. And I don't know if I was looking at my necklace or something, right. And I could see, you know, different wrinkles. And then I thought, hey, that's where you're at, more or less you. And, and there's a picture of me that we were sharing with my niece. She came on the weekend to see her grandmother before we move. And you know, there was a memory of Cliff and I when we sold everything. thirty one years ago, we went and lived in the Bahamas on a sailboat. And I know water and sailing are close to your heart, Kristina. Oh, yes, yes. And, you know, we found the picture where back then Pier Imports was a different Pier Imports, but you could get very unique things not expensive. And we got some nice dishes for the two of us on our boat. And we were eating lobster that Cliff had dove for, with garlic, and rice. And then we had in the middle I had this fan, I was even decorating the table. I said, Look, I even was doing that back then, you know. So we he's holding that picture right now in books that he's reading, because we just found it. It's quite funny. But

Kristina  42:32  
yeah, you're making me hungry at the same time. But it just sounds romantic on every level, like spiritually, romantically, the adventure, the spontaneity? Yeah, it's just beautiful.

Moira  42:45  
Yeah, and, and that's, you know, when one big thing of communication, we learned through marriage. My sister in law said this to me, to us, when we married, again, that's coming up to 30 years in November, that you two, will always be together because you listen to each other, and you talk. So you can't let communication break down. And that's what we do, we honor each other. And if you need space, or, you know, he's, he might have a man cave at this house, and he's thrilled about it. I'm thrilled that you're going to have your man cave. It's kind of funny. And when you're talking about different things there, you know, women and you know, and just how strong women are, and yes, giving birth and creativity that, you know, I want to segue into each one of us has male and female, the Yin and Yang. And I know you're passionate about working with groups to promote equality. And, you know, for a woman to help break down those barriers, the stigmas, and also the discrimination for the LGBTQ community. How do you go about doing this? And how can other people get involved with this? Because it's also close to my heart.

Kristina  43:50  
While there's so many, there's so many ways people can get involved with it. But I totally agree with the Yin and Yang, because, I mean, I think I do have, I have a very soft side, but I have a very, I don't know, maybe it's because I've had to survive aggressive side. Because, and I wouldn't say it's aggressive, but maybe compared to other women, if I have to get something accomplished. Or if I have to do something on my other side kind of comes out my take control because I had to I didn't really have a choice. But I think that's bounced well. And even when I used to go to the gym, I would do boxing and stuff. So but I would do my I know if you knew this, but actually used to teach belly dance, which is a very feminine, it's also very powerful. Yeah, she taught for 20 years and performed and it was the celebration of the feminine. And the strength of the feminine. Just because you're feminine does not mean you're strong. Right. So but I think the energies do come together. And you know, some people exhibit more than others and it can be different times in your life as well. So for me, I do have a transgender brother, and I've watched him go through some really, really hard times, especially coming from a Catholic family. And I have a gay younger brother as well. So you know, it's very close to my heart because I've seen you know, especially with my one transgender brother that discrimination, and really also, it was heart wrenching for me to watch him go through it because an internal struggle, and I think that still exists within him because of our religion and because of my, my father's disapproval. So, you know, it's just letting people be people and

love is love. And at the end of the day people are people. Like, yes, there's male, female energy. And I think there's obviously, you know, all in between and shades of gray within that with LGBTQ, and I really do believe in equality. And unfortunately, especially with, you know, minority and women in general, there's been gender disparity in terms of pay rights, you know, obviously, we are maybe not as strong physically as, as men. So sometimes we're, you know, exposed to abuse, that wouldn't necessarily happen, and also just the way society treats that is not necessarily especially in certain cultures, even rape is not considered a crime. Where all these things you know, and it comes down to a really toxic culture. Whether it's here in North America, or in some countries. It's where we don't have a balance of patriarchy, or or matriarchal energy. I think it's coming together. And that's a true successful culture is when we can actually have both male, female and LGBTQ just accepting people for what they are. And when you really get down to all the differences in the world. I mean, you can make it so simple and just make it about love each other and communicate and being fair to each other. And that's relative, I suppose, and subjective. But getting involved. I think, the simplest for me, I think it's really voicing it, you know, if you see someone, for example, being not treated equally, whether it's in the workplace, or you know, at a bar or down the street or your neighbor, speak, up, speak up. That, to me, is the best way to get involved. And he might people say, Oh, you're afraid to? Or what if they, you know, target me? Well, you know, I think being quiet is the worst crime of all, because you are condoning that behavior. And whether it's sexual harassment in the workplace, which I've experienced, or, you know, totally bullying in the workplace or bullying in, as I said, You know, I can happen, just downtown Toronto, obviously, or you know, even in a very religious rural area. I think speaking up is the best thing. There's so many different organizations. I'm also a volunteer in Zonta International, which is an organization internationally, which champions, women and young girls rights to end child marriage, for example. And all about equality in certain areas of the world have more challenges than we do here. But really speaking up as a unified force. And I think the LGBT community is, you know, coming together more and more obviously, with awareness. And certain countries are more open about it than others. But I think just the communication has to keep going and, and, you know, standing up for each other and loving each other, it's simple as that. But if you know, I have Making Her Story, which I may have to change the name of it, just due to some trademark situations, but it's really about creating, I think, wealth. When I say building wealth, I think of that as a whole, WELLTH. So not necessarily the wealth that we think of as money, but the wealth of in our soul, and caring what the wealth of others. Why would we want to put someone down and make them feel less than? I don't understand that. Because that karma and that energy, I mean, I some people think that's all Whoo, but I really do feel that you will meet you know, you, whatever you put out will be reflected back into you at some point in your life. And just love, love each other, support each other. Speak up. There's so many different organizations. And if you want to contact me, I do a very active on for example, clubhouse, which is an app there. And I have making her story as a club there. I do different rooms about all different topics about not just women, because it's we all have to come together. And Making Her Story is about not just women, but women who support women, and also about the LGBTQ. And I think we all as you said, have male and female energy. We can all share stories from both perspectives, whether you're a man or a woman. And then I'm looking to actually I'm in the progress of putting that onto my website as well as creating a platform there in conjunction with Blue Sky's Life.  And so it's about non toxic thinking. So So non toxic products, non toxic thinking,

Moira  49:28  
Well, part of my brand and myself, you know, being an entrepreneur really for well since my late 20s. And I said I'm 62 so long time and always to do with healing or coaching or but the healing arts and coaching and really living your best life. That's been my whole thing the whole time. And yeah, yeah. I want to ask you, what would Kristina if you sat down and thought about it what wisdom gem would you offer to your 21 year old now that you're almost 49?

Kristina  50:05  
That's a great question as well. I mean, I wish I could know everything I knew know now, but at the end of day, I wouldn't have made the same choices, I would have had the same life. So I think the biggest thing I would tell myself is don't be afraid to fail, I always thought I had to be perfect. I mean, I still fight with that, that perfection from a perfectionist by nature. And probably because I've always wanted approval from that it's probably somewhat within my personality. But don't be afraid to be to fail. Because from the failures, I've learned a lot of things, and they set me on different paths. So it's better to try than not try at all and, and speak up, you know, especially professionally, as a woman in a boardroom, but speak up in general, and in society, especially when there was a kind of a different time. So women were required, but don't be afraid to fail. Those failures will, you know, be your successes really at the end of the day, because they will set you on a new path. But if you let those failures define you, you know, it'll be sad, because you won't really move forward. And you sometimes you don't always learn initially from the first or second which, as I said, sometimes universe just smacks you about until you till you get it. But I think that is and speak up, speak up and be heard and your voice is worthy to be heard. And I think that is one of the best things I could say to my former self is Yes, go for it. Don't be afraid of failing, especially when you're young, my God, we have so much time and so much time to learn and nothing has to be perfect. Be be happy by being imperfect. I think that's the most beautiful thing, and perfectly beautiful.

Moira  51:43  
And I think thank you and I, I believe like every day is a gift. And you know, I say to people, I'm not talking about horrendous areas in life, but you know, all the challenges and obstacles that come our way. I believe that there is a gift in it. If we reframe that and look at it, and what can I learn from this and with that you have expansion. And you know, the universe loves expansion and growth because it's for the unity of all and part of this show is about you know, raising the consciousness and the vibration of the planet to heal humanity and our earth and love our Earth protector. She's our home and she's alive. And when you said about trying in that Yeah, definitely. Do. You know Yoda? Yoda says, Do you know you make a decision? Go and do. Try it isn't always for me, this is just me get you right in the door. The commitment of doing and taking action and inspired action, you know, that just takes the next step shows up in our life. And then we have these miracles that happen and it's a different way of perceiving life. And you know, and focusing on gratitude and appreciation and knowing that's not ignorance, there's things happening in the world. It's really focusing on that and sending out that love. And then that beautiful part of who we are that's what who we are we're love. Kristina Exactly. Yeah, can you share with our listeners today your special offering gift that you've created for them because I like it uniquely to be for them and all these links will be below this episode.

Kristina  53:13  
Sorry for my pingdemic again, yes, I'm going to I somehow they got through again. I think it has a timer on my my alerts. So yes, I'm happy to offer I just uh one thing I wanted to add to what you said intentional living and intentional living. So I always want to inspire women in health and I do believe in self love and self care and sometimes the simplest things so Blue Sky's Life. If you know anybody would like to take me up on it. Any purchase over $100 I will happy to send I call it with tranquil trio or or you know any any bombs actually of your choice, bath bombs, meaning not bombs, bath bombs, which are natural organic ingredients. There is no phthalates or parabens or anything like that in that in no artificial dyes. So and we have orange bergamot and we have lemon grass and we have lavender dreams as I call them. So with any purchase over $100 I will send you also the trio of the bath bombs which is about $30 worth of value. But it's really more than $30. It's really just it's a tranquil experience and even if you do buy ones that have like several sets of Bath Bombs you'll get another one so whatever you choose. But there's on my site I have a whole bunch of plethora of really beautiful products that are really helped you heal mind body at home, including even silk kimonos. But my other prayer was, even if you just sign up, I'll be putting a link down below with your podcast. Because I really do believe in non toxic ingredients because when I got sick I was experiencing a lot of skin conditions due to stress and the toxic ingredients a lot people don't know that the average woman puts 515 chemicals on her body each and every day and up to 60% of that is absorbed into your bloodstream. So long term effects. As you can imagine, carcinogens to cancer, even cognitive decline. So our skin is the largest organ in our body. So let's take care of it right? It's the one thing that will be invested in the rest of our life. So we say, Oh, yes, going back to that. So if you sign up for that, there'll be a landing page link. And I will send you a PDF, a wallet size of I call it the dirty list of ingredients. I just want women to be aware because you know, I would Dirty Dozen, right? Yeah, call the Dirty Dozen. I don't want to infringe on any copyright. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. So

it's called the dirty list that I have. And it might be more than a dozen in there. But it's, it's pretty easy. So you can put that in your wallet. Or you can take a picture with your iPhone, whatever it's so a downloadable little wallet size that you can keep with you when they're shopping for you don't have to shop on my company, or you know, on my website. But if you're taking it when you're going to use if you're in Canada, you know, in one of the beauty stores, like even like I won't mention brand news. But yeah, be wary of those things. Because parabens, phthalates, for example, which I won't go into all those too, but they they can totally disrupt your endocrine system and your hormonal balance as well. So be careful. So you can download that for free. And also there'll be a link to where you can also, you know, reach out to me and I'll give a complimentary 30 minute consultation, whether you want to discuss cannabis, whether you want to discuss non toxic convenes, or I also do coach women, in particular executives. But you don't have to be an executive about corporate burnout and corporate burnout. It's not just corporate and we talk about corporate burnout, but it can be burnout. You know, if you're even at home as a mom and you're trying to raise these children and you have all these other stresses going on in your life. It's just really burnout as a whole. And I also help women who have you know, overcome, were going through to overcome loss. And it's certainly overcoming so that's not the right word, but to get through to the other side. So I really want to help women on whatever level I can. So I'll be having those links that you can click down below in your podcast.

Moira  57:00  
They'll definitely be there. Kristina, thank you for sharing from your Heart and Soul your Wisdom on how to unlock your beautiful and live your Blue Sky's Life.  Namaste.

Close  57:18  
Thank you for listening to the Heart Soul Wisdom podcast with Moira Sutton. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. Please join our community at MoiraSutton.com  and continue the discussion on our Facebook page Create The Life You Love. You will be part of a global movement connecting with other heart centered people who are consciously creating the life they love on their own terms. Together we can raise our consciousness for the greater good of humanity and for our planet.